Star Trek (TV Series)

Spectre of the Gun (1968)

Charles Seel: Ed

Quotes 

• Ed : You boys want your usual?

  Scott : Absolutely! Er... half a gallon of scotch.

  Ed : You know we ain't got nothin' but bourbon, 'less you want corn whiskey.

• Capt. Kirk : Who do you think I am?

  Ed : Ike Clanton. Who do YOU think you are?

  Capt. Kirk : Well, I know this is hard to understand, but I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the spaceship Enterprise. These men are part of my crew. We're not really here. We're from the future.

  [Ed starts to laugh] 

  Capt. Kirk : We haven't been born yet!

  [Ed laughs heartily] 

  Capt. Kirk : Feel the material in my shirt. And now feel the material in your own shirt. Do you notice any difference?

  Ed : Nope.

  Capt. Kirk : [getting exasperated]  Do these clothes look like yours?

  Ed : Mmm, not exactly.

  Capt. Kirk : Have you ever seen clothes like this before?

  Ed : Sure.

  Capt. Kirk : Where?

  Ed : On the Clantons.

  [laughs] 

  Ed : You Clantons are always great with your jokes. That's why we like you.

  Capt. Kirk : I'm not joking.

  Ed : Only difference between you and the Earps is that they never joke.

  Capt. Kirk : I'm not joking! I'm not Ike Clanton!

  Ed : [laughs]  It's okay with me, Ike. Anything you say. Don't make no difference who I think you are. Your problem is: who does Wyatt Earp think you are?