- Veronica: Would it help if I started making out with my girlfriend in the hall?
- Dick Casablancas: Yeah, obviously. But look, I'll fix your car, whatever. You gotta learn to leave me alone.
- Veronica: And here I thought we were getting to be pals.
- Dick Casablancas: Please! You date Logan, he's nailed for murder. You date Duncan, he's wanted for kidnapping. You get put on Robbie and Hunter's jury, they get sent to Chino. You're like rich-dude kryptonite, Veronica. This rich dude wants no part of it.
- Veronica Mars: Okay, Corny. Ready to be bait?
- Corny: I'm the best bait. They call me the Master Bait!
- Dick Casablancas: Dude, why are lesbians, like, so pissed off all the time? Let your freak flag fly, ladies!
- Veronica Mars: Where are you getting your intel? Jackie and I aren't exactly the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. She's not what you'd call huggable.
- Veronica Mars: You left some paint, look!
- Dick Casablancas: It's only like the most valuable thing on your car!
- Baseball Player: You might wanna frisk her before you get in the back seat!
- Kelly Kuzzio: She could be smuggling junk!
- Dick Casablancas: You're the ones to talk. Baseball players right? Remind me: which one of you pitches and which one catches?
- Kelly Kuzzio: Relax Dick, we're not saying you're... gay. I mean, just 'cause you make out with a dude here and there.