Xena: Warrior Princess (TV Series)

Looking Death in the Eye (2000)

Alistair Babbage: Patron #2

Quotes 

• Ramius : This isn't just any scroll...

  [pause] 

  Ramius : No, my friends, I have in my hand, the last known scroll transcribed by the Bard of Poteidaia herself!

  [Joxer suddenly turns around to Ramius; viewers see that he's now an old man] 

  Ramius : It describes, in breathtaking detail, the final adventure of Xena, the legendary Warrior Princess, who dared to defy the Gods!

  Joxer : [Joxer takes the scroll and observes it]  Let's see!

  [he keeps reading] 

  Joxer : This is Gabrielle's handwriting. This is real!

  Ramius : Ah, sure it is!

  Joxer : "Bard of Poteidaia." You know, I - I knew her. You know, she was a friend of mine.

  [pause] 

  Joxer : Xena was my friend too.

  Inebriated Patron : [laughs]  Xena was my housemaid!

  Ramius : Well friend, we'd best cut you off. What say I start the bidding at...

  Inebriated Patron : Ten dinars!

  Patron #2 : Twenty dinars!

  Joxer : Cover your tab!

  Inebriated Patron : You should talk, Joxer, ya deadbeat! Thirty!

  Patron #2 : Thirty-five dinar!

  Joxer : [Joxer tosses a bag full of change on a table]  Sixty-five dinars!

  [pause] 

  Joxer : SOLD!

  [Joxer takes the scroll and leaves the tavern] 

  Ramius : [shocked]  Sixty-five dinars?