Mystery Science Theater 3000 (TV Series)
Beginning of the End (1993)
Trace Beaulieu: Crow T. Robot, Dr. Clayton Forrester
Quotes
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Crow T. Robot : Gladys, quit bugging the Stephens.
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Crow T. Robot : [as a National Guard just being attacked by a giant cricket] One weekend a month, my ASS!
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Dr. Forrester : Hello Murray, automata. Say, what's the most popular form of exercise this month, hm? HMM? Well, that's right - the recumbent bike! As I see it, recumbent creators were afraid to make it *too* comfortable. Well, I'M not afraid! TADAH!
[He reveals a bicycle basically equipped with a bed]
Dr. Forrester : The ReComfy Bike!
[Frank enters wearing pyjamas and a bike helmet]
TV's Frank : Dr. F, could you tuck me in before my ride?
Dr. Forrester : Of course, Franklin, there you go. Check out the reading lamp, nightstand and goose-down comforter. Of course, we might have to ditch the wheels and the pedals to make room for the ice machine and expresso bar, but...
TV's Frank : Uh, Dr. F, I can't get it to go.
Dr. Forrester : Well, try harder you LOAD!
TV's Frank : Well, there's kind of a lot of stuff here.
Dr. Forrester : [in whiny voice] Oh, there's kind of a lot of stuff here. Nappy time, don't you think, Frank?
[forcefully tucks Frank in]
Dr. Forrester : Back up to you, Margot.
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Crow T. Robot : I'm Peter Graves.
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Dr. Forrester : Enough of your touchy-feely crap, Nelson! Today's movie really gets going about two minutes before the closing credits. It's another Bert I. Gordon pain parade called "The Beginning of the End". And I hope you have health insurance.
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Mike Nelson : Wow. What movie is this. nothing's happening. I think maybe we should call the Mads, what do you think?
Tom Servo : Well, I guess I wouldn't advise it.
Crow T. Robot : Yeah, why get them involved.
Mike Nelson : I mean I think we should just call the Mads.
Dr. Forrester : [Forrester is excercising and singing] Frank, I could not stop picking at that pan of lemon bars. I ate half the pan. You're so lucky, you could eat anything and not worry.
TV's Frank : [Frank enters wearing a bathrobe and has his face covered with a beauty mask, eating ice cream, and reading a TV Guide] Oh, I would give anything to have that complexion of yours. Hey, wow! "Vicki" is on!
[Mike and the bots look shocked]
Dr. Forrester : You know, Frank. This is exactly what I wanted to do today. Just have the whole day to ourselves.
TV's Frank : I'm declaring this "National Our Day." Please, do not let me eat all of this.
Dr. Forrester : Well I shouldn't.
[Looks up and notices Mike and bots are watching, then runs back to the couch]
Dr. Forrester : Oh my god, Frank! Switch on a game, switch on a game!
[Crow and Tom looking open mouthed in horror. Crow's mouth is so wide that Mike closes it up]
Mike Nelson : So, I guess we can call the Mads. You know what. I don't think we should do that again. We'll be right back.
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Gen. Hanson : A call for insects?
Crow T. Robot : Call for insects! Call for insects!