- Randy Hickey: So Catalina, what are you doing for your mother for mother's day?
- Catalina: My mother is dead.
- Randy Hickey: Oh I'm sorry.
- Catalina: Eh, its okay. It was either her or me...
- Patty: [Starting a drag race] Alright, let's get this show on the road! I've got an appointment with a guy who likes to suck on my feet!
- [A drunk Joy thinks she drove home fine]
- Joy Turner: I told you I could drive just fine.
- Randy Hickey: Oh I drove, you were steering with a paper plate in the passenger seat. But you did get a couple of turns right.
- Billy Reed: You scared? Is that it growed up Earl? You're scared I'll take another car off you? Huh? You scared? You should be, 'cause I'm Billy Reed. Do you know how many girls I've had sex with?
- [holds up five fingers]
- Billy Reed: Five.
- Billy Reed: You scared? You better be, 'cause I'm Billy Reed! Do you know how many girls I've had sex with?
- [holds up four fingers]
- Billy Reed: Four.
- Earl: I mean, my life would've been a lot better if I'd had that Mustang. I wouldn't have lost my virginity in a public bus.
- Randy Hickey: And I wouldn't have had to watch.
- Carl Hickey: You're putting a 1970 carburetor in a '65?
- Earl: It'll fit.
- Carl Hickey: Oh sure, it'll fit! That size four dress will fit your mother but I wouldn't take her out in it!
- Earl: I won, Billy. The car's mine.
- Billy Reed: Fine, you get the car, but it was a close race; I still got my dignity.
- Patty: Hey Billy! Is it OK if I cancel your appointment to suck my feet? I'm just not feeling it anymore.