Count Duckula (TV Series)

The Great Ducktective (1990)

Jimmy Hibbert: Von Goosewing, Mrs. Bludgeon, Sviatoslav

Quotes 

• Mrs. Bludgeon : [seeing Duckula]  That him, then, is it?

  Nanny : That's him. Bless him.

  Mrs. Bludgeon : Looks to me like he could do with a bit of building up.

  Nanny : Well yes, that's what I says, but he's apt pernickety about his food, aren't you, eh? He says it how he's a "veggie-matarian"!

  Mrs. Bludgeon : Oh, really?

  Nanny : That's right!

  Mrs. Bludgeon : [blustery]  Well, I never heard of - like - I don't hold with that sort of thing!

  Nanny : No. Don't have no trouble getting him to eat his greens, but he won't touchnothin' else!

  Igor : More's the pity.

• Hawkeye Soammes : [Von Goosewing has met with two detectives under an alias]  So, your great aunt Gretchen has been murdered, you say?

  Von Goosewing : That is correct.

  [pretends to be distressed] 

  Von Goosewing : Poor, poor auntie Gretchen.

  Hawkeye Soammes : And you have reason to believe it was a certain Count Duckula who committed the foul deed?

  Von Goosewing : Of this I am sure! But I must have someone to help me prove it.

  Dr. Potson : So naturally you immediately thought of the greatest detective the world has ever known, what?

  Hawkeye Soammes : Yes, thank you Potson. Very well, Herr Von Edelweiss, I agree to take on the case.

  Von Goosewing : Oh, I am most grateful!

  [chuckles quietly] 

  Von Goosewing : Duckula! Your days are numbered! Soon, you monster, you will be no more!

  Dr. Potson : I say, I say, steady, old chap, blood pressure and all that.

• Dimitri : Hey, Sviatoslav, speaking of detectives, what do detectives like for lunch?

  Sviatoslav : I don't know, what do detectives like for lunch?

  Dimitri : Irish stew.

  Sviatoslav : Irish stew? Why is that?

  Dimitri : [sounds like "I arrest you"]  "Irish stew" in the name of the law? See?

  Sviatoslav : No, I don't see.

  Dimitri : Irish stew... come inside, I explain.

• Von Goosewing : [having enlisted the help of two detectives to arrest Count Duckula for a crime]  This time, Duckula, you fiend, this time I shall not fail! Alright, so a stake through the heart I would have preferred, but it always seems to be going wrong. So... to prison I will get you sent! A prison where you will be no harm to anybody!