- [at the crematorium, Grace has invited all the funeral guests back to her house]
- Leone: Are you going back?
- Cath: Yes, but not for long. We've got things to do, haven't we, Dave.
- [Cath gives Dave a coy look]
- Dave: Yeah.
- Leone: She still got you at it, Dave?
- Dave: Oh yes.
- Cath: Don't be like that. A lot of men would kill to have as much sex as you're having.
- Dave: A lot of men would *die* having as much sex as I'm having.
- Cath: Well, it's your own fault.
- Dave: Why's it my fault?
- Cath: [to Leone] He's got low motility.
- Leone: Oh, what's that?
- Cath: It means he's got lazy sperm.
- Dave: I haven't.
- Cath: You have.
- Dave: [shouts] There's nothing wrong with my sperm.
- [funeral guests turn round and stare]
- Cath: They're just like him - big lazy buggers. They should be whizzing about all over the place. Instead of which they're lying on the sofa watching Match of the Day.