- Paula Small: I don't think you're "melon-chested," Brendon.
- Brendon Small: Well, maybe "melon-chested" is the wrong word, but I am messed-up.
- Paula Small: Do you mean "maladjusted"?
- Brendon Small: Linda?
- Linda: Yeah?
- Brendon Small: I don't dislike you, but I dislike being AROUND you. And I can say that, because we don't know each other at all, and neither of us is making any effort at all. But, who knows? Maybe we should, but then again, maybe we shouldn't.
- Therapist: I'm concerned with your behavior.
- Brendon Small: Yeah, what's new?
- Therapist: Brendon, I know you know about Gentle Talk.
- Brendon Small: I'm being passive-aggressive, aren't I?
- Therapist: No, your aggression isn't passive at all. It's ACTIVE aggression.
- Brendon Small: So you're saying it should be more passive then?
- Coach John McGuirk: Here's a piece of advice, Brendon. There's no such thing as psychology. It's all made-up crap. They're all conmen, all of them. Even the women.
- Therapist: Okay, go ahead, Linda. Use the gentle talk. Use it to say something to Brendon.
- Linda: Well... Brendon...
- Therapist: Good. Now we're cooking.
- Brendon Small: Doctor, I forgot I have a note from my mom. I won't be coming back. You know why? Because THERAPY SUCKS!
- Andrew Small: Yeah!
- Brendon Small: Oh! That felt good!
- Therapist: Ouch.