Veronica Mars (TV Series)

Charlie Don't Surf (2006)

Kristen Bell: Veronica Mars

Photos 

Quotes 

• Veronica Mars : No jokes. No innuendoes, no quips. Don't even think of alluding to having seen me naked or having touched any part of my body that does not have fingers.

  Logan Echolls : Can I mention that my eyes adored you? I got it. No calling you bobcat, no talk of milky thighs.

  Veronica Mars : Go home.

• Veronica Mars : Here's a fun thing to say to your beau: 'Mind if I go put the screws to someone?

  Logan Echolls : Go ahead, screw your brains out.

• Dick Casablancas : You're torturing me!

  Veronica Mars : Without even trying? God, I'm good!

  Dick Casablancas : My brothers are all sorts of pissed. They think you're coming after them instead of trying to find the real raper.

  Veronica Mars : Do you mean rapist? Learn the terminology!

• Veronica Mars : Your last name is Chu?

  Hsiang 'Charleston' Chu : Yeah.

  Veronica Mars : Charleston Chu?

• Veronica Mars : Remember that case a couple years ago where that woman was impersonating her boss? How did you obtain the ATM photos that proved it?

  Keith Mars : I know a guy, a representative of the bank. He needs to request a court order and once the court order is issued, it only takes about an hour to get the photos.

  Veronica Mars : So, it's a piece of cake.

  Keith Mars : A monkey with a friend who's a bank representative can do it.

  Veronica Mars : So, Bubbles. You feel like doing me a solid? Hm?

• Keith Mars : Is it possible your boyfriend's financial problems are just his champagne wishes and caviar dreams biting him on the ass?

  Veronica Mars : One solid-gold foosball table and a couple of man-servants and suddenly he's spendy.

• Veronica Mars : Umm, did you trip and fall onto sandalwood, musk, and a hint of spicy citrus or is that cologne?

  Keith Mars : It's aftershave. I'm going to traffic court.

  Veronica Mars : Sexy traffic court?

  Keith Mars : Hmm. Nice shoes. You change your major to Women's Studies?

  Veronica Mars : Ha! Yuk it up, fancy pants.

• Wallace Fennel : I liked the other place you worked better.

  Veronica Mars : Think maybe that's because we had food there?

• Veronica Mars : A problem is just an opportunity in disguise.

• Veronica Mars : [voice-over]  Who knew that when opportunity knocked it would look like a horny surfer?

• Veronica Mars : [Hands store clerk a photo]  Do you remember this girl? Her name is Claire.

  Walter : Yeah, I saw her. So drunk she could barely stand. If your parents knew what you kids really do here...

  Veronica Mars : And you're sure it was her?

  Walter : She came in with a guy. She's falling asleep on my magazine rack. He's trying to scrap together change to buy prophylactics. Then he's all mad because he can't use a credit card unless he spends fifteen dollars, so I sent him next door to the ATM. They came back later, he bought his raincoat, one less bastard child conceived by morons.

  [In a sing-song voice] 

  Walter : Everyone's haaaappyyy!

• Veronica Mars : [Hands store clerk a photo]  Do you remember this girl? Her name is Claire.

  Walter : Yeah, I saw her. So drunk she could barely stand. If your parents knew what you kids really do here...

  Veronica Mars : And you're sure it was her?

  Walter : She came in with a guy. She's falling asleep on my magazine rack. He's trying to scrape together change to buy prophylactics. Then he's all mad because he can't use a credit card unless he spends fifteen dollars, so I sent him next door to the ATM. They came back later, he bought his raincoat, one less bastard child conceived by morons.

  [In a sing-song voice] 

  Walter : Everyone's haaaappyyy!

• Veronica Mars : In my world, the wicked don't get parting gifts.