- Jim Halpert: Dwight's room key. And Dwight's room. What can I say? Old habits die hard.
- [opens door, sees a woman on the bed]
- Angela Martin: D?
- Jim Halpert: [closes door quickly] Oh, my God! Dwight got a hooker! Oh, my God, I gotta call... Well, I gotta call somebody, I don't even know who to call. Dwight got a hooker!
- Michael Scott: [turns on black light in his hotel room] Now would you do me the pleasure of hitting the lights, sir?
- Michael Scott: [Dwight turns off lights and they see stains all over bed] Whoa. What are all those stains?
- Dwight Schrute: Blood, urine, or semen.
- Michael Scott: Oh, God, I hope it's urine.
- Jim Halpert: You know, when I saw Dwight, I realized how stupid and petty all those pranks I pulled on him were. And then he spoke. I wonder how hard it would be to get a copy of his room key.
- Jan Levinson: Well, Michael, I just... I underestimated you.
- Michael Scott: Yeah, well, maybe next time you will estimate me.
- Michael Scott: [about Jim] I was shocked when he told me he was transferring to Stamford. It's like with firemen, you don't leave your brothers behind. Even if you find out that there is a better fire in Connecticut.
- Angela Martin: In the Martin family, we like to say, "Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly." That's code for "Check out the slut."
- Michael Scott: You know what, Pam? If in 10 years, I haven't had a baby and you haven't had a baby...
- Pam Beesly: No, Michael.
- Michael Scott: 20 years?
- Pam Beesly: No, Michael.
- Michael Scott: 30 years?
- Pam Beesly: Sure.
- Michael Scott: It's a deal.