- Ian McKellen: If we were to draw a graph of my process, of my method, it would be something like this: Sir Ian, Sir Ian, Sir Ian, action, wizard "You shall not pass!", cut. Sir Ian, Sir Ian, Sir Ian.
- [referring to Lord of the Rings]
- Ian McKellen: How did I know what to say? They had my lines written down on a script. How did I know where to stand? People showed me.
- Ian McKellen: [explaining how he acts so well] Case in point: Lord of the Rings. Peter Jackson comes to me in New Zealand and said to me: Sir Ian, I want you to be Gandalf the Wizard. And I said to him: You are aware that I am not really a wizard?
- Andy Millman: How's the wife?
- Bunny: Oh, gone! I was living a lie and she knew it, but now I'm able to go out and enjoy some serious cock guilt free. Yuma, yuma, yuma, yuma!
- [Andy storms into his agent's office]
- Andy Millman: Idiot.
- Agent: You talking to me?
- Andy Millman: Yes, I'm talking to you! Didn't you read the play?
- Agent: What play?
- Andy Millman: The play I'm in, the play that you got me a part in. It's a gay play. I've got to play a gay, with another gay. Acting all gay. All through the play, it's so... gay.
- Andy Millman: [Darren has got a date with Maggie] Oh my god, it's worse than I thought. She's hit rock bottom.
- Agent: [proud of himself] Yes she has.