- Dick Casablancas: Okay, I'm so not supposed to be telling you this, but it's 'way too good. So not only did Chip get Kojaked, someone put a Roman numeral in one of those little plastic Easter eggs and stuck it in his "where the sun don't shine" place. And you know where that is.
- Veronica Mars: Worst Easter egg hunt. Ever.
- Dick Casablancas: Not a banner day for Chip Diller. He had to get one of the brothers to help unpack his suitcase.
- Veronica Mars: What was the number?
- Dick Casablancas: What?
- Veronica Mars: You said there was a Roman numeral in the Easter egg.
- Dick Casablancas: You're missing the point.
- [British accent]
- Dick Casablancas: They put it up his bleedin' bum!
- Veronica Mars: Which kinda speaks to the number being significant, don't ya think?
- Dick Casablancas: I guess. I don't know what the number is. It wasn't a baby shower! We didn't all sit around waiting for him to open the egg so we could see what he got!
- Veronica Mars: [Keith and Veronica break into Selma's mansion] This is just like that time we went to Disneyland. If I have another altercation with Snow White and her disapproving dwarfs, you're taking Sneezy this time.
- Sheriff Don Lamb: Dollars to doughnuts you'll find her sobbing into a Mojito at the club because she lost an earring.
- Cyrus O'Dell: Well, you'd be the doughnut expert.
- Veronica Mars: Do you know what he did with it?
- Dick Casablancas: If it's not in his hope chest, I'm thinking he threw it out.
- Veronica Mars: When is your garbage collected?
- Dick Casablancas: And you think I'm "repungent"?
- Veronica Mars: Yes, Dick. Yes, I do.
- Dick Casablancas: The garbage truck comes Friday morning. Morty, the homeless dude, comes Thursdays to pull out the bottles and the cans. Can't tell you if they recycle "Keister" eggs.
- Fern: Why are you following me around?
- Veronica Mars: Fulfilling my gym requirement. Yoga had a written final.
- Veronica Mars: The park is closed. The walrus out front should have told you.
- Keith Mars: Honey, stealthy, remember?
- Veronica Mars: Right! Sorry.
- Dick Casablancas: You raise an uninteresting point. But hey, don't worry your pretty head about your pal, Dick.