- Michael Scott: Bros before hos. Why? Because your bros are always there for you. They have got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason. And you are nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you, and that she was better than all the other hos in the world. And then... Then suddenly she's not your ho no mo'!
- Dwight Schrute: Pam and Karen, I am ordering you to cease and desist all party planning immediately.
- Pam Beesley: You can't do that.
- Dwight Schrute: As ranking number three in this office, I am order...
- Andy: [grunts] I'm number three.
- Dwight Schrute: You're number four.
- Andy: Yeah, but I'm number three.
- Dwight Schrute: Uh, no.
- [to Pam]
- Dwight Schrute: You must turn over to me all Christmas decorations and party paraphernalia immediately. They will be returned to you on January 4th.
- Jim Halpert: Okay, I think I can help here.
- Dwight Schrute: Okay, good. They...
- Jim Halpert: As ranking number two, I am starting a committee to determine the validity of the two committees, and I am the sole member of the committee. The committee will act on this now.
- Dwight Schrute: Okay, this is stupid.
- Jim Halpert: Could you please keep it down? I'm in session.
- [long pause]
- Jim Halpert: I have determined that this committee is valid.
- Dwight Schrute: What? No! No! Wait! Wait, wait, wait.
- [thinks about it]
- Dwight Schrute: Permission to join the Validity Committee.
- Jim Halpert: Permission denied.
- Dwight Schrute: Damn it.
- Jim Halpert: You just had a rebound.
- Michael Scott: I had a rebound.
- Jim Halpert: Yeah. Which, don't get me wrong, can be a really fun distraction. But, when it's over, you're left thinking about the girl you really like, the one that broke your heart.
- Michael Scott: [Carol exits office after breaking up with Michael] I'd like everybody's attention. Christmas is canceled.
- Stanley Hudson: You can't cancel a holiday.
- Michael Scott: Keep it up, Stanley, and you'll lose New Year's.
- Stanley Hudson: What does that mean?
- Michael Scott: [voice starting to break] Jim, take New Year's away from Stanley.
- Carol Stills: [shows Michael a framed photograph of her two kids, herself and a man on a ski trip. Michael had photoshopped his face in place of Carol's ex-husband's face] What is this?
- Michael Scott: [laughing] That is my Christmas card. It's a picture of you and me and your kids on a ski trip, having a blast. "Ski-eason's Greetings."
- Carol Stills: No. See, we never went on a ski trip.
- Michael Scott: [holding back laughs] I know. I know.
- Carol Stills: I went on a ski trip two years ago with my kids and my ex-husband.
- Michael Scott: Right. Yes, but what you didn't realize at the time was that I was with you, in a sense, I was in your heart...
- Carol Stills: [interrupts him] Michael...
- Michael Scott: ...and next to your kids. What?
- Carol Stills: This is so weird.
- Michael Scott: I don't understand.
- Jim Halpert: [to the camera] It's a bold move to photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael's a bold guy. Is "bold" the right word?
- Karen Filippelli: Does anyone ever stand up to Angela? Or...
- Pam Beesly: I think one of her cats did once. She came in with scratches all over her face.
- Dwight Schrute: It is my job to be there for Michael. How can I be there for Michael if I am here for Michael?
- Angela: [Dunder Mifflin party planning committee meets in conference room to discuss holiday party festivities for the office] Phyllis, I need you to pick up green streamers at lunch.
- Phyllis Lapin: I thought you said green was whorish.
- Angela: No. Orange is whorish.
- [Camera pulls back to show Phyllis wearing an orange blouse]
- Karen Filippelli: So, I had a couple ideas to make the Stamford branch feel more at home. Each year, we have a Christmas raffle...
- Angela: It would never work here.
- Karen Filippelli: Okay. Um, another idea was karaoke.
- Angela: No.
- Karen Filippelli: A Christmas drinking game?
- Meredith: Yes!
- Angela: God help you.
- Karen Filippelli: What?
- Angela: These are all terrible ideas. And none of them are on the theme of a Nutcracker Christmas. I think you should leave.
- Karen Filippelli: [laughs nervously, unsure what to do] You're kidding.
- Angela: You tried this out, and it's clearly not for you. It's time to go. Come on. Please? Thank you.
- [Karen looks to Pam for help, but Pam awkardly looks down at some papers, leaving Karen to fend for herself. Angela rises and shows Karen to the door. Karen leaves the meeting]
- Michael Scott: [rides into office on very old and very used 10-speed bike and stops at Pam's desk] Hey! I would like a nice slice of Christmas Pam. Side of candy Pams. And perhaps some Pam chops... with mint.
- Pam Beesly: Can I help you, Michael?
- Michael Scott: I'm looking for the Toy Drive box.
- Pam Beesly: It's behind you.
- Michael Scott: [turns around to see Toy Drive pile full of brand-new, unopened toys. Leans his old bike against wall] Okay. Well, I need to put this bike in there. I hope it will fit, with all these little knickknacks.
- Jim Halpert: Wow. What kind of bike is that?
- Michael Scott: Um. I don't know. Average kind.
- Kevin Malone: That tires look pretty worn.
- Michael Scott: Well, that is probably from the test drive.
- Jim Halpert: But the paint is chipping. Is that your old bike, Michael?
- Michael Scott: No.
- Jim Halpert: What do we have here?
- Dwight Schrute: What does it look like?
- Jim Halpert: Dead goose.
- Dwight Schrute: And circle gets the square.
- Angela: [Pam hangs a flyer above the flyer than Angela just hung] What's that? 'The Committee to Plan Parties invites you to a Margarita-Karaoke Christmas.' There's no such thing as the Committee to Plan Parties.
- Pam Beesly: There is now, we just started it.
- Angela: Well, you can't just start a committee. You have to have funding.
- Karen Filippelli: What's your funding?
- Angela: $200.
- Pam Beesly: What's ours again?
- Karen Filippelli: Uhm, $201.
- Pam Beesly: Right.
- Kelly Kapoor: Hey! A Margarita-Karaoke Christmas party. That sounds like fun.
- Angela: No, that is not a party. There's only one party, and it's hosted by the Party Planning Committee, and it starts at 3:00.
- Kevin Malone: Then why are there two flyers?
- Karen Filippelli: Oh, I understand that this is confusing for everyone. Let me explain. There's a party that starts at 3:00.
- Kevin Malone: Right.
- Karen Filippelli: And then there's a way more fun party that starts at 2:45.
- Pam Beesly: Right, and if you're interested in the way more fun party, all the info can be found here on our more brightly-colored flyer.
- [Angela rips down the flyer that Pam hung]