Californication (TV Series)
Pilot (2007)
Natascha McElhone: Karen
Quotes
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[Hank and Mia had a one-night stand]
Karen Van Der Beek : This is Mia, Bill's daughter, and this is Hank. You two know each other?
Hank Moody : No.
Mia Gross : Well, I do recognize you.
Hank Moody : No.
Mia Gross : Yeah, sure I do.
Hank Moody : No.
Mia Gross : From your book. Your picture is on the back.
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Mia Gross : Hey, that was really cool what you did tonight, it's nice to see some good old fashion family values in this morally bankrupt city of ours.
Hank Moody : That's me, I'm all about the family values.
Mia Gross : What happened to your eye?
Karen Van Der Beek : Yeah what did happen to your eye, Hank?
Hank Moody : Well, you should see the other guy.
Mia Gross : I hope she doesn't press charges.
Hank Moody : It was not a "she", it was a "he", the other guy.
Mia Gross : Right, or whatever I'm off to bed, good night. It was nice to meet you, Hank.
Hank Moody : Nice to meet you, too.
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Karen Van Der Beek : Well, Bill and I never touched each other till we were dead and buried.
Hank Moody : Okay, are you trying to make me throw up now?
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Hank Moody : [drove home trouserless] Ladies. Dad's trying out a new look.
[growls and struts like an alpha baboon in underpants]
Hank Moody : What do you think?
Becca : Dad?
Hank Moody : Yes?
Becca : Are you mentally insane?
Hank Moody : [kisses her] Yes. But I'm extremely high-functioning.
Karen Van Der Beek : He's much like a special-needs person that works at McDonald's.
Hank Moody : Exactly. I'm late and I'm sorry and... I'm not wearing any pants, but I would like to invite you two ladies to join me. Take your pants off and come with me to the pants-off restaurant.
Karen Van Der Beek : Sounds tempting. But I've got plans, okay?
Hank Moody : Oh, must be date night.
Karen Van Der Beek : Yeah.