- Dick Casablancas: I live here, too, you know. This is my home. People walk in, they don't think, "This little clean area is Dick's, and the hidden bottles of urine are Logan's." They think "Silence of the Lambs basement," and their desire to get naked near me takes a nose dive.
- Mason: You really think that I would kill my coach because he wasn't starting me?
- Veronica Mars: A woman in Texas hired a hit man to take out the mother of her daughter's cheerleading rival, so, you know, I'm pretty much willing to consider anything.
- Melinda Button: You called me a freak!
- Dick Casablancas: I called your toes freakish. I didn't call you a freak. It's supposed to go big toe, little toe, and then on down the line, not big toe, bigger toe.
- Keith Mars: [Voiceover] If you've eaten any of this breakfast, you now owe me. Invoices have to go out today. See you at the office.
- Veronica Mars: And I always fall for it.
- Dick Casablancas: We're thinking about going to the swim team's beach blanket blow-out. You can wear your t-shirt that says, "I'd rather be home crying".
- Keith Mars: It's as bad as she says? Lamb's going after the kid?
- Cliff McCormack: Well, he was thinking very hard about it. Or he really had to pee. It's hard to tell with that man.
- Logan Echolls: Will this require math? 'Cuz I'm bad at math.
- Cindy 'Mac' Mackenzie: I'll do the math. You just be male. And drive.
- Veronica Mars: Dad, do me a favor.
- Keith Mars: Anything.
- Veronica Mars: [Tearfully] Don't get murdered!
- Hotel Manager: [Outside hotel room] Mr. Echolls, I'm more than happy to give you your hamburger. We'd just like to take some of our trays.
- Logan Echolls: [Yells through the door] Leave the food and go!
- Jeff Ratner: [to the manager] We're out of salt and pepper shakers.
- Hotel Manager: [shouts back at Logan] I'm afraid I can't do that, sir.
- [Lamely]
- Hotel Manager: We're running out of salt and pepper shakers. This needs to stop.
- Radio DJ: I've got a dedication going out from a very sad boy to a very special girl. So if you're out there, and you're listening, Veronica, this is from Logan. He's sorry, girl, and he wants you back.
- ["What's Left of Me" by Nick Lachey plays]
- Lyrics: Now I'm broken/And I'm faded/I'm half the man I thought I would be/But you can have what's left of me-...
- Jeff Ratner: Take it from the guy who has to clean up after him. You don't want what's left of Logan Echolls. He just lies around in bed all day and smells.