The Office (TV Series)

Ben Franklin (2007)

Steve Carell: Michael Scott

Photos 

Quotes 

• Michael Scott : So I am instituting prima nocta.

  Jim Halpert : [to the camera]  Prima nocta, I believe, from the movie "Braveheart" and confirmed on Wikipedia, is when the king got to deflower every new bride on her wedding night. So...

  Michael Scott : I'm sorry. I had a very different understanding as to what prima nocta meant.

• [Michael is grilling steaks for Bob Vance's bachelor party] 

  Ryan Howard : Is it the same grill you grilled your foot on?

  Michael Scott : No. Yes, but I got all the foot off of it.

  Ryan Howard : Oh, gross.

• Michael Scott : Guys! Beef, it's what's for dinner. Who wants some man meat?

  Dwight Schrute : I do! I want some man meat!

  Jim Halpert : Michael, Dwight would like your man meat.

• Michael Scott : Sort of a guys' night out. A G.N.O., if you will. A gno. Actually, it's more of a guys' afternoon in. A G.A.I. A gay.

  [the girls all snigger] 

  Michael Scott : Not... Not... It's not gay. It's just a... It's a bridal shower for guys. A guy shower. An hour-long shower with guys.

• Michael Scott : [to the camera while he's making a film for his future son]  And remember, no matter what, I will always love you.

  Dwight Schrute : What if he's a murderer?

  Michael Scott : He's not going to be a murderer.

  Dwight Schrute : Maybe that's how you die?

• Todd Packer : A stripper is Bachelor Party 101. If you don't get a stripper, your party's gonna suck hard.

  Michael Scott : I can't get a stripper here. Sexual harassment.

  Todd Packer : Get one for the girls, too. That evens it out. Like, you know, seperate but equal.

  Michael Scott : So that's what that means.

• Michael Scott : Wow. Ben Franklin, you're really kind of a sleazebag.

• Michael Scott : [to a Ben Franklin impersonator whom he thinks is a stripper]  Hello! You wearing a thong?

• Michael Scott : Stripper? Could I ask you a question about women? Should I tell my girlfriend that you danced up on me?

  Elizabeth the Stripper : "Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt someone."

• Angela Martin : Sparkling cider is very good.

  Pam Beesly : I think that's champagne.

  [Angela spits champagne back into her glass] 

  Michael Scott : Hello, ladies. Who here is a history buff? Who's a fan of buff naked? Without further ado, the one, the only, the sexy Mr. Benjamin Franklin.

  Ben Franklin : Thank you for that introduction, Mr. Scott, and good afternoon, fine gentlewomen of Dunder Mifflin.

  Michael Scott : Half pants, right, Mr. Franklin?

  Ben Franklin : Knickers in fact, yes!

  Michael Scott : He's in his knickers. Mr. Franklin, I would say you are probably one of the sexiest presidents ever.

  Ben Franklin : Well, actually, I never was president.

  Michael Scott : Yes, but, Ben Franklin was.

  Ben Franklin : Ah. I'm here to teach you a little bit about my life and the era of the founding fathers.

  Michael Scott : And when they came over on the Mayflower.

  [imitates porn music] 

  Meredith Palmer : Wait, this is the entertainment?

  Michael Scott : Yeah, alright, so I want you to give him your undivided attention and, Mr. Franklin, if any of these ladies misbehave, I give you permission to spank them. Especially that one.

  [Points to Phyllis]