Muppet Babies (TV Series)

Nice to Have Gnome You (1991)

Laurie O'Brien: Piggy

Quotes 

• Piggy : [stepping on Fozzie's collection of whoopie cushions]  Where are we?

  Gonzo : Uh, this is the land of Whoopie.

  Piggy : Oh brother, Alice in Whoopieland.

• Piggy : What's this?

  Gonzo : Labyrinth card.

  Piggy : I can't believe he said that, can you?

• Piggy : Oh, I'll never find my book in time.

  Gonzo : Goblins probably took it.

  Piggy : Huh? *gasp* Gonzo?

  Gonzo : Uh-uh, Gonzo, Head Troll around here, all the goblins know me.

• Gonzo : So uh, what's this about your book?

  Piggy : Well, I got it from the library last week, but now...

  Gonzo : Ah! It could be, in there!

  [points to the Labyrinth] 

  Piggy : What is that?

  Gonzo : Public Labyrinth.

  Piggy : Public what?

  Gonzo : Labyrinth, kind of like a maze. Goblins take books there!

  Piggy : They do?

• Piggy : What happened to you guys?

  Rowlf : When?

  Fozzie : Is this a riddle?

  Rowlf : He loves riddles.

  Fozzie : Yeah, wanna do a knock-knock?

  Piggy : Uh-uh, could you guys tell me which way to go?

  Rowlf : Who?

  Fozzie : Us?

  Rowlf : No way.

  Fozzie : We don't know anything.

  Rowlf : We could tell you a lot of jokes though.

  Fozzie : Why did the...

  Piggy : KNOCK IT OFF!

  [Fozzie and Rowlf shrink back] 

  Piggy : Now, what door leads to my book?

  Fozzie : We give up.

  Rowlf : Which one?

  Fozzie : I don't think she knows.

  Rowlf : It's not fair to ask riddles if you don't know the answers.

  Piggy : IT WASN'T A RIDDLE! IT WAS JUST A QUESTION!

  Rowlf : Oh, a question.

  Fozzie : That's different.

  Rowlf : In that case, we don't know.

  Fozzie : We only know jokes and riddles.

  Rowlf : Right.

  Piggy : Ooooh! Never mind. I'll figure it out for myself.

  [starts to walk off] 

  Fozzie : [whistles]  Ah-ah-ah.

  Rowlf : Wouldn't go that way.

  Fozzie : Yeah, nobody goes that way.

  Piggy : [walks in a different direction]  Ha! Just what I wanted to know in the first place. Thank you and goodbye. Hmph!

  Rowlf : So long.

  Fozzie : See ya.

  [Piggy falls down a trap door screaming] 

  Fozzie : Think we should have told her nobody goes that way either?

  Rowlf : Nah, she didn't ask.

• Piggy : You're a mouse.

  Kermit : Uh-huh, so are you. Want some cheese?

  Piggy : So am I what?

  Kermit : A mouse. Here, take a look.

  Piggy : [looks at her reflection and screams]  I'm a mouse!

  Kermit : That's what I said.

  Piggy : Well, what happened? I don't want to be a mouse.

  Kermit : Well, um, I think you sort of fell into my imagination. Sorry.

  Piggy : Can you believe this?

  Kermit : Are you sure you don't want some cheese?

• Piggy : Scooter, Skeeter, is that you?

  Skeeter : Uh-huh, we're cater... pillars.

  Scooter : Hey, we're mice! What happened?

  Piggy : Don't ask.

  Kermit : I guess imaginations go kind of crazy around all these books.

  Skeeter : I'll say. You should have seen Animal's.

  Scooter : Huge.

  Piggy : Listen, we're going out into the library to look for my book. Wanna come?

  Scooter : Uh-uh. I'd probably get stepped on.

  Skeeter : What?

  Piggy : Okay.

  Kermit : See ya.

  [Piggy and Kermit leaves] 

  Skeeter : What are you, Scooter? A man or mouse?

  Scooter : Very funny, sis.

  Skeeter : [giggles]  I always wanted to say that.

• Skeeter : Have you hugged your book today, Piggy?

  [laughs] 

  Piggy : Boy, for a librarian, she sure gets around.

• Piggy : [Nanny's asleep watching a cooking show]  Nanny, what would the library do if someone actually lost their book?

  TV chef : Well first we chop off their little heads!

  Piggy : Really?

  TV chef : Then we plump them into boiling water until the skin comes off and they get all soft and mussy.

  Gonzo : Boy, these library people are serious!

  Piggy : Come on, let's get out of here!

  [run out of the room] 

  TV chef : And in 20 minutes, you have a delicious bellaruff modernuff turnip souffle. Bon appetite!