The Office (TV Series)
Product Recall (2007)
John Krasinski: Jim Halpert
Photos
Quotes
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Jim Halpert : [Jim sits at his desk, dressed like Dwight] Question, what kind of bear is best?
Dwight Schrute : That's a ridiculous question.
Jim Halpert : False. Black bear.
Dwight Schrute : Well, that's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought.
Jim Halpert : Fact, bears eat beets. Bears, beets, "Battlestar Galactica."
Dwight Schrute : Bears do not... What is going on? What are you doing?
Jim Halpert : [in confessional] Last week, I was in a drugstore, and I saw these glasses. Four dollars. And it only cost me $7 to recreate the rest of the ensemble, and that is a grand total of $11.
Dwight Schrute : [Back at their desks] You know what? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. So I thank you.
[Jim takes a bobblehead doll out of his suitcase and sets it on his desk]
Dwight Schrute : Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!
Jim Halpert : [imitating Dwight] Michael!
Dwight Schrute : Oh, that's funny. Michael!
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Dwight Schrute : [Dwight comes in dressed as Jim as revenge] Pam.
[drums on her desk]
Pam Beesly : [amused] Hey, Dwight. You look really nice today.
Dwight Schrute : [scoffs] I look like an idiot!
[goes over to his desk]
Dwight Schrute : Hey, Karen.
[flattens his hair to make it more like Jim's]
Karen Filippelli : Hey, Dwight. Looking sharp.
Dwight Schrute : Yeah, that's 'cause I'm your boyfriend, Jim Halpert.
[Karen smiles]
Dwight Schrute : Hey, Karen. Wanna get together later and have sexual intercourse 'cause you're my girlfriend?
Jim Halpert : [looks at Karen] Do you?
Karen Filippelli : No. I'm good. Thanks.
Jim Halpert : Okay.
[Dwight imitates Jim's expressions; Jim is impressed]
Jim Halpert : Look at that.
Dwight Schrute : I'm Jim Halpert.
Jim Halpert : Spot on.
Dwight Schrute : [makes some more faces and mumbles] A little comment.
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Jim Halpert : Lord, beer me strength.
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Michael Scott : Andy, you go.
Andy Bernard : [in a British accent] William Dolittle at your service, a.k.a. Will Do.
Jim Halpert : Yeah, I'm definitely going to go alone.
Michael Scott : No! No! I need two men on this! That's what she said. No time! But she did. No time!
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[Andy has just found out his girlfriend is a high school student]
Andy Bernard : [horrified] Oh, my God!
Jim Halpert : Oh, *my* God.
Andy Bernard : I had no idea!
Jim Halpert : [grinning] Well, that's not gonna hold up in court.
Andy Bernard : We didn't do anything illegal. Except knock over a mailbox with her friends.
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Andy Bernard : So, Tuna, when we get in there, let's do a really good job, okay?
Jim Halpert : Did that really need to be said?
Andy Bernard : Well, not everything a guy says needs to be said. Sometimes it's just about the music of the conversation.
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Andy Bernard : [in Andy's car] Beer me.
Jim Halpert : What's that?
Andy Bernard : Hand me that water.
[Jim does so]
Andy Bernard : I always say, "Beer me." Gets a laugh, like, a quarter of the time.