"The Office" Fun Run (TV Episode 2007) Poster

(TV Series)

(2007)

Steve Carell: Michael Scott

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Quotes 

  • Michael Scott : I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.

  • Michael Scott : Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.

  • Michael Scott : Meredith was hit by a car. It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital and the doctors tried to save her life. They did the best that they could...

    [ominous pause] 

    Michael Scott : And she is going to be okay.

    Stanley Hudson : What is wrong with you? Why did you have to phrase it like that?

  • Ryan Howard : [talking about Michael hitting Meredith with his car]  Did this happen on company property?

    Michael Scott : Yes. It was on company property with company property, so double jeopardy. We are fine.

    Ryan Howard : I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.

    Michael Scott : Oh, right. I'm sorry. What is "We're fine"?

  • Michael Scott : [discussing rides to visit Meredith]  All right, since I am the boss I will drive as well. Who wants shotgun?

    Stanley Hudson : You can't be serious. You ran a woman over this morning.

    Michael Scott : Everyone inside the car was *fine*, Stanley!

  • Pam Beesly : [answering the phone]  Michael Scott's Dunder-Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Fun Run Race For The Cure, this is Pam.

    Michael Scott : [whispering]  Pro-Am.

    Pam Beesly : Pro-Am Race For Th- they hung up.

  • [visiting Meredith in the hospital] 

    Michael Scott : She looks like an angel.

    Kelly Kapoor : She looks awful.

    Michael Scott : No- okay, she always looks like that.

  • Pam Beesly : [trying to sound inspirational]  I know you, Michael. I saw you naked.

    Michael Scott : [still very depressed]  You don't... You don't know me. You've just seen my penis.

  • Michael Scott : Man, what a day, huh? How could it get any worse? The computer crashes with the porn, and then Meredith with the accident and then... Prinkles! God... That's three things. I'll tell you what's going on. This office is cursed. And we need to do something about it.

  • Michael Scott : Finishing that 5K was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I ate more fettuccini Alfredo and drank less water than I have in my entire life. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit. Well, today, I had a triumph of the human body. That's why everybody was applauding for me at the end, my guts and my heart. And while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. I'm very, very proud of that.

  • Michael Scott : Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I don't know, I sing in the shower, sometimes I spend too much time volunteering, occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car, so sue me. No, don't... sue me, that's the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

  • Michael Scott : [eating cereal]  Jan made me breakfast this morning. Well, she bought the milk.

  • Dwight Schrute : Hey... Why did you do it?

    Michael Scott : It was an *accident*.

    Dwight Schrute : Was she talking back?

    Michael Scott : No.

    Dwight Schrute : Just got sick of that face? Did she owe you money? Uh-oh... is this downsizing? Did she spurn your advances?

    [Michael turns and glares at Dwight] 

  • Michael Scott : So, Ryan got promoted to corporate where he is a little fish in a big pond. Whereas, back here in Scranton, I am still top dog in a fairly large pond. So, who is the real boss, the dog or a fish?

  • Michael Scott : [in confessional]  Well, I am taking responsibility, and it is up to me to get rid of the curse that hit Meredith with my car.

  • Pam Beesly : [after Pam accidentally enters Michael's office while he's changing clothes]  On average, how many hours a day do you spend naked in your office? Just ballpark?

    Michael Scott : European offices are naked all the time.

    Pam Beesly : They're so not.

    Michael Scott : Besides, my shirt tail covered most of it, so...

    Pam Beesly : I didn't see where it started but I saw where it ended.

    Jim Halpert : Gross.

    Michael Scott : That's not gross, it's the human body, what is your problem? Pam, you're an artist, right? Think of me as one of your models.

  • Michael Scott : Okay, I have an announcement.

    Oscar Martinez : You pushed Darryl out the window?

    Michael Scott : No.

    Phyllis Vance : You shot Dwight?

    Michael Scott : No.

  • Dwight Schrute : Maybe we should skip the ceremony and set up a college fund for Meredith's kid.

    Michael Scott : Have you met that kid? Not going to college.

  • Michael Scott : Myth: Three Americans every year die from rabies. Fact: *Four* Americans every year die from rabies.

  • Pam Beesly : Also, there is no such thing as a rabies doctor.

    Michael Scott : How about a rabies nurse?

    Pam Beesly : I don't think so.

    Jim Halpert : You know what, though? I've actually seen ads for nurses that you can hire by the hour... for, uh, parties and bachelor events.

    Michael Scott : That's possible. Look into that.

  • Dwight Schrute : Wait, this money is going to bat birth control, right, Michael? That's what you told me when I contributed.

    Michael Scott : You didn't contribute very much.

  • Michael Scott : Kelly, you are Hindu, so you believe in Buddha.

    Kelly Kapoor : That's Buddhist.

    Michael Scott : Are you sure?

    Kelly Kapoor : No.

    Michael Scott : [to the IT Tech guy]  What are you?

    Sadiq : Well, if you're going to reduce my identity to my religion, then I'm Sikh, but I also like Hip-hop and NPR, and I'm restoring a 1967 Corvette in my spare time.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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