- Charlie Kelly: Ohhhhhhhh shit! Look at that door, dude. See that door there? The one marked "Pirate"? You think a pirate lives in there?
- Dennis Reynolds: I see a door marked "Private". Is that the door you're talking about?
- Charlie Kelly: Nah, I was talking abou... I didn't say... did you... what did you hear?
- Dennis Reynolds: I heard you say there was a door marked "Pirate".
- Charlie Kelly: Well, are we gonna talk about pirates all day or are we gonna see what's living in there?
- Dennis Reynolds: You're the one that... Jesus Christ, man. Shit.
- Charlie Kelly: Wait, you followed me all the way home?
- Sun Li: [nods]
- Charlie Kelly: So, you saw me eat that Hot Pocket out of the trash?
- Sun Li: [nods]
- Charlie Kelly: You got any... feelings about that?
- Sun Li: [shakes her head no]
- Charlie Kelly: Wow, I like you, come on in.
- Charlie Kelly: That would have been a lot better if I was wearing the duster, dude.
- Dennis Reynolds: Come on, dude, it doesn't fit you. It's too big for you.
- Charlie Kelly: That's why it's so awesome on me! It's like, "Why's that guy in giant jacket? What is he hiding?"
- Dee Reynolds: [very drunk] Good evening, I need to speak to Mr. Kim please.
- Mr. Kim: I'm Mr. Kim.
- Dee Reynolds: Huh. Alright, Mr. Kim, my name is Rita Fire... s. Hmm, Fires. And I am from the National Health Inspectors, uh, Store and I need to, I need to make sure your secret microbrew is up to code.
- Mr. Kim: Health inspector?
- Dee Reynolds: Oh you bet your ass, Kim.
- Dee Reynolds: [Mr. Kim throws her out the back door] Wait, I just wanted your stupid recipe!
- Mr. Kim: You, terrible actress!
- Dee Reynolds: Wait, wait, wait! Okay, I'll sleep with you.
- Mr. Kim: Your breath smell like vomit.
- Charlie Kelly: Hey wait, are you planning to douse my fiancée with water, exposing her breasts for everyone to see?
- Dennis Reynolds: Yeah man, is that cool?
- Charlie Kelly: That's VERY cool.