The Office (TV Series)
Chair Model (2008)
Steve Carell: Michael Scott
Photos
Quotes
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Michael Scott : [discussing Phyllis' friend Sandy] Could we share a rowboat? Could... could a rowboat support her?
Phyllis Lapin : ...What are you asking?
Michael Scott : I think I'm being very clear what I'm asking. Would an average-sized rowboat support her without capsizing?
Michael Scott : [long pause] It bothers me that you're not answering the question.
Phyllis Lapin : No, all right? No, she can't fit in a rowboat.
Michael Scott : Dammit, I knew it. I knew it, Phyllis! Okay...
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[Michael prepares to call "Wendy," a girl on one of the cards]
Michael Scott : Okay, Wendy. Hot and juicy redhead. Let's give this a try.
[dials on speakerphone]
Wendy's employee : Wendy's.
Michael Scott : Hello, Wendy. This is Kevin's friend, Michael.
Wendy's employee : This isn't Wendy.
Michael Scott : Oh, I'm sorry. Could you put her on, please?
Wendy's employee : Dude, this is a Wendy's restaurant.
Michael Scott : [mutters] Damn it, Kevin.
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Andy Bernard : Okay, so... Help us out.
Michael Scott : Wish I could, but I can't. Well, can, but won't. Should, maybe, but shorn't.
Kevin Malone : Michael, please...
Michael Scott : What part of "shorn't" don't you understand, Kevin?
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Andy Bernard : We won't let you down.
Michael Scott : You can't, because I don't care.
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Michael Scott : [to Oscar] Hello, Oscar Meyer weiner lover.
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Michael Scott : I think that fate put this catalogue in my hands.
Pam Beesly : Actually, I put the catalogue into your hands, 'cause you have to pick out a new chair.
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Pam Beesly : Okay, Michael, you know what? I might have someone for you.
Michael Scott : Oh, really? What's her name, Burger King?
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Michael Scott : Well, I enjoyed this conversation. It was very nice. It was like talking to the sweet, old lady on the bus.
Margaret : [long silence] That's incredibly rude.
Michael Scott : Now you ruined it.
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Margaret : Michael?
Michael Scott : [after taking a look at her] Ugh.
Margaret : Are you Michael Scott?
Michael Scott : Is who Michael what?
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Michael Scott : So you... get... the rent checks every month, and... what happens next, what...
Margaret : Y-you're asking me what I... do with the checks people write to me?
Michael Scott : Just making conversation.
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Michael Scott : I used to think that I had this perfect person out there waiting for me, but now I know that that's just silly. Because she's dead. What do you do?
Dwight Schrute : Wait till next year's chair catalogue comes out and find someone who's still alive.