The Office (TV Series)

Goodbye, Toby (2008)

Steve Carell: Michael Scott

Photos 

Quotes 

• [during Toby's exit interview] 

  Michael Scott : I just have some... questions that I was gonna ask.

  [long pause] 

  Michael Scott : Umm, who do you think you are?

  Toby Flenderson : [long pause]  I'm Toby.

  Michael Scott : Yeah. Correct. Umm... What gives... What... What gives you the right?

  Holly Flax : ...Umm, I-I brought the binder. Do you wanna... take a little look?

  Michael Scott : Sure. Yeah, you know what, that sounds good. Take a little look-see.

• Michael Scott : Toby has been cruisin' for a bruisin' for 12 years, and I am now his cruise director, and my name is Captain Bruisin'.

• [after handing Toby a wrapped present] 

  Toby Flenderson : Wow, thanks, Michael, I didn't expect you...

  Michael Scott : [cuts him off]  Can I just say that of all the idiots in all the idiot villages in all the idiot worlds, you stand alone, my friend.

• Michael Scott : [shouting]  Holly is the best thing that has happened to this company since World War II.

• [as Toby introduces his replacement] 

  Toby Flenderson : Michael Scott, this is Holly.

  Holly Flax : Hi.

  Michael Scott : Hi. Yeah, right. Okay, well, they hired a female Toby. Good for the world. Thank you, God, for creating two of you. Here's how things work here: My job is to make the office fun. Your job is to make the office lame, and we have an eternal struggle, you and I, and only one of us can be the winner. Spoiler alert, I'm going to win.

  Holly Flax : Man, someone doesn't like HR.

  Michael Scott : Yeah.

  Holly Flax : What did you do to him?

  Toby Flenderson : Nothing.

  Michael Scott : No, he tortured me with his awfulness.

• Michael Scott : If the devil were to explode, and evil were gone forever, what sort of party would you have?

  Angela : Michael...

  Michael Scott : Like a beach blowout, or a toga, a toga. Toga!

• Michael Scott : Hey, what's the group that was from Scranton and made it big? Was that U2?

  Jim Halpert : Yes.

• Michael Scott : I am downloading some N3P...

  Jim Halpert : That's not it.

  Michael Scott : ...music...

  Jim Halpert : Yup.

  Michael Scott : ...for a CD mixtape...

  Jim Halpert : Close.

  Michael Scott : ...for Holly. And I'm looking for perfect songs that work on two levels.

  Jim Halpert : What are the two levels?

  Michael Scott : The two levels being, "Welcome to Scranton" and "I love you."

• [after Michael tells Jim he loves Holly] 

  Michael Scott : Well, it's love at first sight. Actually, it was... No, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears.

• Michael Scott : I have no idea how you sit like that.

  Holly Flax : Yoga.

  Michael Scott : [Imitating Yoda]  Sit on floor, put together chair we will.

  [Holly gives him a blank stare. Michael starts to giggle uncomfortable] 

  Michael Scott : Yo-da.

  Holly Flax : [Also imitating Yoda, much to Michael surprise]  Pass curvy metal piece, you will.

• Michael Scott : So you're in town this weekend? Cause I'm not. I'm not gonna be in town. I'm going out of town.

  Holly Flax : Ohh, so you can't make my orgy?

  [Michael reacts confused] 

  Holly Flax : Kidding!

  Michael Scott : [laughing]  Kidding! Acting!

  Holly Flax : Acting!

  Michael Scott : Acting!

• Michael Scott : Thanks to Toby, I have a very strong prejudice against Human Resources. I believe that the department is a breeding ground for monsters. What I failed to consider, though, is that not all monsters are bad.

• Michael Scott : [whispering to Toby]  I'll kill you.