The Office (TV Series)
Dinner Party (2008)
Steve Carell: Michael Scott
Photos
Quotes
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Michael Scott : When I said that I wanted to have kids, and you said you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? And then, when you said that you might want to have kids, and I wasn't so sure, who had the vasectomy reversed? And then when you said you definitely didn't want to have kids? Who had it reversed back? Snip, snap! Snip, snap! Snip, snap! I did! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person!
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Michael Scott : That is a $200 plasma screen TV that you just killed! Good luck paying me back with your zero-dollars-a-year salary plus benefits, babe!
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Michael Scott : [takes a sip of wine] Mmm. A sort of an oaky afterbirth.
Jim Halpert : ...What was that?
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Michael Scott : [arguing] Man, I would love to burn your candles!
Jan Levinson : You burn it, you buy it!
Michael Scott : Oh, good, I'll be your first customer!
Jan Levinson : You're hardly my first.
Michael Scott : That's what she said!
[Jan picks up one of Michael's Dundie awards and throws it at his $200 plasma screen TV]
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Jan Levinson : Well, how about we do the short tour, and then I'll start dinner.
Pam Beesly : Oh, I can help starting dinner, if you need it.
Jan Levinson : Oh, no, no, no, it's just the osso bucco, needs to braise for about three hours. Everything else is done.
Pam Beesly : Three hours from now, or three hours from earlier, like 4:00?
Jan Levinson : You know, Pam, in Spain, they often don't even start eating until midnight.
Michael Scott : When in Rome.
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[as it comes to Michael's turn during their game]
Michael Scott : [loud clapping] All right, my
[clap clap clap]
Michael Scott : my
[clap]
Michael Scott : my
[clap]
Michael Scott : my turn! My
[clap]
Michael Scott : my my my
[clapclapclap]
Michael Scott : my turn!
[clap]
Michael Scott : My my my my turn!
[clap]
Jan Levinson : Babe, can you just, like, really...
Michael Scott : What?
Jan Levinson : You're just, like, really...
Michael Scott : [laughing] What? What?
Jan Levinson : Could you just simmer down? Seriously.
Michael Scott : I'm just making people laugh.
Jan Levinson : No.
Michael Scott : Yes, I was watching Jim's face.
Jan Levinson : I was watching Jim.
[Jim stares off with a blank expression]
Michael Scott : And he was laughing. Look.
Jan Levinson : [turns to the camera] No smile.
Michael Scott : Look at him. He's laughing.
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Michael Scott : [leans across to Pam whispering] Pam... I hope she didn't do anything to the food.
Pam Beesly : [whispers] Like... like what?
Michael Scott : I can't prove it but I think she might be trying to poison me.
[Jan serves the food]
Michael Scott : Hey, looks great, babe.
Andy Bernard : Yeah, it does!
Pam Beesly : I know Jan didn't poison the food. I know that. But if she was going to poison the food of someone at that table, wouldn't it be me? "Michael's former lover"?
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Jan Levinson : The sliding glass door shattered. It's actually a very cute story. Do you want to tell it, babe, or should I tell it?
Michael Scott : I don't like that story, babe.
Jan Levinson : Come on, it's a cute story. Michael ran through the sliding glass door 'cause he thought he heard the ice cream truck.
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Jim Halpert : You'll never guess, I just got a message from my landlord. Apparently, my apartment flooded, something with a sprinkler.
Jan Levinson : Oh no!
Jim Halpert : Pam, we should probably get going and see the damage.
Pam Beesly : Oh, okay.
Michael Scott : Well, you don't need two of you to do that.
Jim Halpert : That's true. Um... dinner sounded delicious. Pam, I'll see you at home. Thank you so much.
Pam Beesly : Oh, Jim, I don't think you're going to abandon this party here all by yourself.
Jim Halpert : I don't know. Because everything I own is there.
Pam Beesly : You can buy new stuff, but you can't buy a new party.
Michael Scott : That's true, that's a great point. Come on down here. Sit down on that couch and be amongst friends and we are not going to think about all your stuff being destroyed, all right?
