Financial Crisis
- Episode aired Mar 13, 1997
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Gareth: Bit of grovelling poverty. That should fix the grubby little upstarts.
Simon: But is it legal to cut off their funds?
Gareth: Legal? Who cares! We're the government; we decide what's legal.
Simon: We're not actually the government, Gareth. We work *for* the government.
Gareth: Oh, really. Thank you. I'll note that down.
Simon: And is it moral? Is it in the tradition of British fair play? We just might look like a bunch of big bullies.
Gareth: We *are* a bunch of big bullies. We built an empire on being a bunch of big bullies. We enjoy being a bunch of big bullies. These people are traitors. In more enlightened times we would have just cut their heads off and had another cup of tea.
Simon: I, I just feel your being a bit... mean.
Gareth: I sincerely hope so. Now, while I conduct the practical shenanigans up here, I want you to keep up the fifth column stuff down there; undermine 'em, turn 'em against each other; nice bit of weasel work.
Simon: Gareth, I'm not sure I really like...
Gareth: Simon, Simon, hush hush a second. You do know that despite what they say about the civil service, your career is not exactly bomb-proof. And you do cherish and enjoy your insignificant little job, don't you.
Simon: You really are a quite awful person.
Gareth: Thank you, Simon. It is nice to know one's efforts don't go entirely unnoticed. Now get down there, get nasty, or get downsized.
- ConnectionsReferences Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)