- Mr. Bibby: [Discussing what to do about Keisha] Headmaster, enough is enough. I think it's time to *get rid* of this problem once and for all.
- Iqbal: Hmm? Hmm. I see. You is make this problem disappear.
- Keisha Marie: What is you saying? Is it good?
- Mr. Bibby: Yes. Quite, we must *dispose* of this *problem* without delay.
- Iqbal: Ahh, you is mean *eliminate* this problem forever.
- Keisha Marie: What's this problem? Can I help?
- Iqbal: Let Iqbal is get absolutely straight. You is suggest we brutally murder this child and hack the head off her corpse?
- Mr. Bibby: No. But full marks for trying.
- Iqbal: ...And when they is take the lump out, they is find that it has hair, and teeth, and is in fact my twin brother what has been buried inside Iqbal all these years! Ha, bloody family, eh? Hahaha... okay, item 54...
- Martin Jackson: Jesus wouldn't have taken a pay rise, Gavin. He'd have given it to one of his disciples. Possibly the maths disciple.
- Gavin Beale: Ah, but Jesus wasn't a teacher, was he? I suppose he was, in a way, but he was a carpenter, really. And a fisherman... in that bit where they go on the lake.
- Gavin Beale: Whether you call him Allah, Yahweh, Jehovah, or whatever, we all worship one god.
- Student: I'm a Hindu.
- Gavin Beale: Get out.
- Natella: Anyone in a position of power must use a bit of discretion in wielding that power.
- Keisha Marie: I agree. If 'discretion' means a plank of wood with some nails in it.
- Latrina: I think Natella's jealous.
- Natella: Jelaous?
- Keisha Marie: Yeah. I is come first in something for once, and you upset 'cause you have to eat a big shit pie.
- Latrina: Like me that time!