- Ren Höek: [stammering] I... I was nice today, nice to all those insipid little monkeys!, answering all their stupid letters!
- [nervously looking at his hands]
- Ren Höek: My hands... dirty!
- [starts rubbing them together]
- Ren Höek: The dirt won't come off!
- [screams]
- Ren Höek: President what a joke, president... president of what?
- [looks over at Stimpy]
- Ren Höek: His fan club!, how they love him!
- [crawls onto Stimpy's stomach]
- Ren Höek: Look at him lying there asleep!
- [stands up and stares at him]
- Ren Höek: The idol of millions! He's a fool, a lying, silly little fool!, how easily I could end the farce
- [looks at his hands]
- Ren Höek: with these hands, these dirty hands!
- [in a demonic voice]
- Ren Höek: and with these hands I hold the fate of millions!, they think he's a god, but he's as mortal as we!, I know!
- [imagines saw marks on Stimpy's neck]
- Ren Höek: Just one quick twist!
- [makes strangling and twisting motions]
- Ren Höek: and it's over, just one!
- [reaches for Stimpy's throat]
- Ren Höek: [suddenly grabbing his head in pain] No it's happening again!, my brain!
- [in a demonic voice]
- Ren Höek: My hot stinging brain!
- [shrieks in terror]
- Mailman: [rings the doorbell] Mailman, got some mail here!
- [Ren slowly trots over using a crudely made Stimpy robot]
- Mailman: Ah, hello Mr. Cat you're looking healthy this morning
- Ren Höek: Shut up!
- [doing a terrible impression of Stimpy's voice]
- Ren Höek: Duh, I don't want anymore of your filthy letters, your services are not welcome here, and duh, tell those pesky kids to stop writing me Stimpson J. Cat, duh!
- Mailman: Uh, whatever you say, actually I only have one letter today and it's for Mr. Hoek, I guess I'll just throw this one out
- Ren Höek: Give me that!
- [snatches it from him]
- Ren Höek: [excited] A letter for me, letter for me, nothing for Stimpy! No, no, no, Mr. Ren Hoek
- [laughs]
- Ren Höek: that's what it says!
- Stimpy: [yawns] Good morning Ren
- Ren Höek: [laughs and points at Stimpy] You, you and your fan mail, Mr. Fanclub! Everybody loves you don't they!
- [Stimpy nods]
- Ren Höek: Well guess what the mail man brought you today?
- [repeatedly pokes Stimpy in the head]
- Ren Höek: Nothing!
- [hits him on the nose with the letter]
- Ren Höek: This letter's for me see!, you they have forgotten now it's me they love, it is I that am the most loved, I who shall rule!
- [breathes heavily and frantically tears open the letter]
- Ren Höek: Oh yes this is the proof, this is the proof that you are finished!
- [grabs Stimpy's arm and shakes him]
- Ren Höek: Isn't it? That's what it says!
- [begins reading the letter]
- Ren Höek: Dear Ren, that's me, that's me! You are my favorite tv star, nobody, nobody is as funny and as smart as you, see are you getting this?
- [rubs the letter in Stimpy's face]
- Ren Höek: I am the best, I am king! Listen to this, you may learn something
- [pokes Stimpy in the chest]
- Ren Höek: I wish I could be just like you, how about that!
- [elbows Stimpy in the stomach]
- Ren Höek: This fan has some ambition, you are my favorite person in the whole wide world! Ha! Love, it says "love", your pal... Stimpy?
- [looks at Stimpy who smiles and breaks down crying]
- Ren Höek: Oh, Stimpy I'm so ashamed!
- Stimpy: I meant every word
- [hugs Ren as he continues crying]
- Stimpy: There, there Ren, there, there