- Edward Stratton III: There's something I don't understand. It was very nice of you to decide to try to teach Ricky to drive. But when I was his age, I asked you to teach me, and you said, "No, no - you'll have to wait until you reach the legal age limit." And then when I did, you hired somebody to teach me to drive! Sure - it was A.J. Foyt. But I sure would have preferred you, Father. Why will you do for Ricky what you wouldn't do for me?
- Grandpa Stratton: Edward, let me explain something. All the time you were growing up, I was afraid of spoiling you. Now that I'm Richard's grandfather, I would give him everything I have. You see, fathers have to say "no"; grandfathers get to say "yes".
- Grandpa Stratton: Young man, others may be fooled by your obsequious comments and angelic appearance. To me, you are as transparent as Saran Wrap!
- Ricky Stratton: The Mercedes is outside - and I know where my dad keeps the keys.
- Grandpa Stratton: You step on the starter, and I'll crank.
- Ricky Stratton: OK... You're kidding, right?
- Grandpa Stratton: [nods, amused with himself]
- Grandpa Stratton: Why don't you just sit there, and you tell us your favorite music - and then Richard and I will hum it for you.
- Grandpa Stratton: In spite of all my best efforts, I am mellowing. We should spend more time together; we should hang out.
- Edward Stratton III: What a disaster.
- Ricky Stratton: [alarmed] Huh?
- Edward Stratton III: First, the limo broke down. Jenkins went to find a gas station and we grabbed a cab. We got four blocks, we heard on the radio that it was snowing in Chicago, and they've closed O'Hare Airport. So we turned around and drove back, just in time to see three men leaving the limo... with its tires. I got a feeling it just isn't my day.
- Ricky Stratton: I've had days like that, Dad.
- Grandpa Stratton: [after he and Ricky crash through the library a second time] I thought I was in reverse.
- Ricky Stratton: Well, look at it this way.
- Grandpa Stratton: Yes?
- Ricky Stratton: [imitating Grandpa] You weren't!
- [last lines]
- Derek Taylor: [after Ricky and Grandpa crash through the library] Hey, guys?
- [Ricky and Grandpa look at him]
- Derek Taylor: Going my way?
- [laughs and runs out]
- Ricky Stratton: I'm sorry, Grandfather. I thought I was in reverse. I -- I really did. Honest.
- Grandpa Stratton: Well, let's put it this way.
- Ricky Stratton: Yeah?
- Grandpa Stratton: You weren't.
- Grandpa Stratton: [on the phone] So you send that tow truck right away. 1211 Pierce Avenue. Yeah. The car's in the library. Because I like it that way!
- [hangs up]
- Grandpa Stratton: See, Richard? We were in a little trouble there, and we dealt with it calmly, and now we're home free.
- Edward Stratton III: [from the living room] Ricky? Father?
- Grandpa Stratton: Also, we're dead meat.
- Derek Taylor: So, guys, what are we gonna do first, huh?
- Ricky Stratton: We? Don't you have to check in with your parole officer or something?