Photos
Quotes
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Chloe Decker : You look like hell.
Lucifer Morningstar : Appropriate.
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Chloe Decker : If you didn't understand the first four times I shot you, I will gladly shoot you again, Michael.
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Lieutenant Diablo : I found this... where Matt was killed. Fell out of his pocket. Just a little thing I like to call "evidence."
Chloe Decker : You stole evidence from the crime scene?
Lucifer Morningstar : To be fair, Detective, that is absolutely on-brand.
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Lucifer Morningstar : It's me. It's Lucifer.
Chloe Decker : Do you expect me to fall for that again?
Lucifer Morningstar : But... Look at the hair... or the perfectly arranged pocket square. Could Michael pull this off? I don't think so.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Detective, you're the only reason I'm here.
Chloe Decker : Apparently you're the only reason *I'm* here.
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Chloe Decker : [to the two Diablo actors] I have to bag the whole place for evidence, and you both are not cops. So play time's over. Out!
Lucifer Morningstar : Don't take offense. She used to say the exact same thing to me.
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Lucifer Morningstar : [about Michael] Every word that comes out of that admittedly dashing face is a lie.
Chloe Decker : Oh, well, that's a relief, because he said something so insane, I, well, obviously knew it had to be a lie.
Lucifer Morningstar : [groans] Did he claim he's friends with Elvis? 'Cause, for one, the King's still alive and I'm the only one who knows where.
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Lucifer Morningstar : [Reading Lieutenant ¡Diablo! script] This one would have been amazing. Diablo was going to solve a crime in space.
Chloe Decker : Oh. Mm-hmm. And what was Dancer doing, a zero-G striptease?
Lucifer Morningstar : Have you read this already?
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Ella Lopez : I am, living proof that people can change old, bad patterns.
[Phone buzzes]
Chloe Decker : You got a text.
[Picks up phone]
Chloe Decker : Oh! Whoa, that's a penis. That's a tattooed penis.
Ella Lopez : ...Some patterns are harder to change than others.
Chloe Decker : [Spies something on the evidence table] Uh, looks familiar.
Ella Lopez : Wait, you know Craig?
Chloe Decker : No, this. No, I don't know Craig and his tattooed penis.
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Chloe Decker : Thank you for your time.
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes. Thank you.
Lieutenant Diablo : [Turns to co-star cluelessly] Do they seem familiar to you?
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Chloe Decker , Detective Dancer : Freeze! L.A.P.D.! Drop the gun!
Chloe Decker : [Beat] Wait. I'm a real cop with a real gun. That's a prop. Put it down.
Detective Dancer : Sorry. Force of habit.