The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (TV Series)
Episode #1.6 (1981)
David Dixon: Ford Prefect
Photos
Quotes
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[last lines]
Ford Prefect : I read of one planet in the seventh dimension got used as a ball in a game of intergalactic bar billiards. Got potted straight into a black hole, killed ten billion people.
Arthur Dent : Madness. Total madness.
Ford Prefect : Yeah. Only scored thirty points too.
Arthur Dent : Where'd you read that?
Ford Prefect : Oh, a book.
Arthur Dent : What book?
Ford Prefect : The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy.
Arthur Dent : Oh. That thing.
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Zaphod Beeblebrox : Hey, Ford. How many escape capsules are there?
Ford Prefect : None.
Zaphod Beeblebrox : You counted them?
Ford Prefect : Twice.
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Number One : But, sir, they're my prisoners. Can't I just interrogate them a little bit?
B-Ark captain : Oh, very well. Ask them what they want to drink.
Number One : Thank you, sir. All right, you scum, you *vermin*...
B-Ark captain : Steady on, Number One.
Number One : What do you want to drink?
Ford Prefect : Well, gin and tonic sounds very nice to me. Arthur?
Arthur Dent : Huh? Yes.
Number One : With ice or without?
Ford Prefect : [thinks] With, please.
Number One : *Lemon*?
Ford Prefect : Yeah. And do you have any of those little biscuits? You know, the cheesy ones?
Number One : I'm asking the questions.
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Ford Prefect : Ah, this is futile. Five hundred and seventy-three committee meetings, you haven't even discovered fire yet.
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Number Two : I have declared war on the next continent.
Ford Prefect : Declared war? There's no one even living there.
Number Two : Yes, but there will be one day. So we've left a sort of open-ended ultimatum.
Ford Prefect : What?
Number Two : And blown up a few military installations.
B-Ark captain : Military installations, Number Two?
Number Two : Yes, sir. Well, potential military installations.
[pause]
Number Two : All right. Trees. And we interrogated a gazelle.
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Arthur Dent : So this is it. We're going to die.
Ford Prefect : I wish you'd stop saying that.
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Zaphod Beeblebrox : Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Ford Prefect : I think so.
Zaphod Beeblebrox : Tell me what you think I'm thinking.
Ford Prefect : I think you're thinking it's time we got off this ship.
Zaphod Beeblebrox : I think you're right.
Ford Prefect : I think you're right.
Arthur Dent : How?
Zaphod Beeblebrox's second head : Quiet. We're thinking.
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Ford Prefect : Hey, look! A plaque!
Arthur Dent : What's it say?
Ford Prefect : Golgafrincham Ark Fleet Ship B Hold 7 Telephone Sanitiser Second Class, and a serial number.
Arthur Dent : Telephone sanitiser? A dead telephone sanitiser?
Ford Prefect : Best kind.
Arthur Dent : What's he doing here?
Ford Prefect : Not a lot.
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Ford Prefect : [discussing the teleporter while their ship is plunging into the sun] Someone will have to stay behind and operate it manually!
[pause]
Ford Prefect : But that means whoever does wouldn't...
Trillian : [quietly] ... make it.
Zaphod Beeblebrox : [Ford, Trillian, Arthur and Zaphod consider this before all turning to stare at Marvin as Zaphod grins slyly] Hey, Marvin kid. How ya doing?
Marvin : Very badly I suspect.