- Amenadiel: You know that Father...
- Lucifer Morningstar: If you finish that sentence, I will punch you in your... mysterious ways.
- Chloe Decker: Why would Destiny Page be calling a nun at a convent that she wants to buy?
- Amenadiel: Well, her latest album was a testament to a new-found faith, and the one that she's working on now is supposed to continue in that vein.
- [Chloe gives Amenadiel a look]
- Amenadiel: Please don't tell Lucifer.
- Chloe Decker: Well, after 57 phone calls, twice as many texts, the billboard off Sunset, and the ill-conceived stripper-gram...
- Lucifer Morningstar: In my defense, Roberto came highly recommended.
- Chloe Decker: For now, I'm going to stick to police work and avoid anything God-related.
- [Cut to crime scene at a nunnery]
- Chloe Decker: Hilarious.
- Amenadiel: Well, I am God's greatest warrior.
- Chloe Decker: Well, as much as I love the mental image of you punching a bunch of nuns...
- Amenadiel: Everything in Hell has been taken care of.
- Chloe Decker: Well, I have no idea what that means, but just add it to the list.
- Chloe Decker: Do I have any powers, or... anything cool? I don't know, laser beam hands, something?
- [Silence from Amenadiel and Lucifer]
- Chloe Decker: No.
- [Continues coldly]
- Chloe Decker: No. Of course not. They were just concerned with creating the perfect Mrs. Morningstar.
- Lucifer Morningstar: That's Destiny Page's number. No one in their right mind would ignore her.
- Dan Espinoza: Wait, Destiny Page, the pop star?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Mm-hm.
- Dan Espinoza: How would you know her number?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Funny story...
- Dan Espinoza: Never mind, don't wanna know.
- Chloe Decker: Amenadiel. You're my dad?
- Amenadiel: [laughs, then clear throat] Of course not.
- Chloe Decker: So "laid a blessing" isn't a euphemism?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well, not in this case, at least.
- Amenadiel: Do you know of anyone who would want to hurt Sister Victoria?
- Sister Molly: Yes. I do
- Amenadiel: Who?
- Sister Molly: The Devil, of course.
- Amenadiel: [sighs] Anyone else?
- Chloe Decker: I thought with you being an angel and all, maybe you could use that.
- Amenadiel: Chloe, I can't expose myself to them.
- [Ella walks by, gasps in shock]
- Lucifer Morningstar: It'd be much faster in person, Daniel. I could seduce the truth out of them.
- Dan Espinoza: Bro, there are 30 nuns there. I doubt that's faster.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well, it's certainly more fun.
- Dan Espinoza: A murder, it's like a gigantic puzzle, only you don't know what the corner pieces are, or what it's going to look like when it's done.
- Lucifer Morningstar: You just described torture. Trust me, I know.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Let me get this straight. I just spent millennia down there diligently doing everything He asked without complaint, and you have one sleepover in Hell and Dad tells you your watch is over?
- Sister Andrea: I was the first to leave my cell this morning.
- Chloe Decker: Cell? Oh, sounds like a prison.
- Ella Lopez: Oh, yeah, "cell". That's an old-school term for their rooms.
- Sister Franciene: We're so blessed God sent you here to find who did this, Detective.
- Chloe Decker: Oh. Mm, yeah. Well, yes. That's what God does. Yep. Mm. Sends me here, sends me there, kills a nun, just so I can meet all of you.
- Linda Martin: Maze, I know your mother abandoned you, but it might help to understand her perspective. Maybe... Maybe she was too young to handle it.
- Mazikeen: My mother was 12000 years old when she had me.
- Amenadiel: There I was. wandering the corridors of Hell, when... I heard a voice. A voice that I never expected to hear in Hell.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Who was it? Mother Teresa, Mr. Rogers? Adele?
- Lucifer Morningstar: When I found out about this... manipulation, I felt the same way as you. But then I realized that it's far from a curse. It's a gift. I only hope that... in time, you come to see it that way, too.
- Chloe Decker: There is a huge difference, Lucifer. You were given a gift. I *am* that gift. I mean, I'm not even a person. I'm just a thing, created for someone else.
- Lucifer Morningstar: I can't believe there's so much paperwork for one single convent. I mean, they're nuns, after all. How many interesting things can happen to them, really?
- Dan Espinoza: Did you spike my coffee?
- Lucifer Morningstar: It's the only way to get through yet another tedious and useless task. You're welcome.
- Amenadiel: I know you're a person of faith, so I'm pretty sure that I should have a, um... calming effect on you
- Destiny Page: [Scream] HANK!