It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)
Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person (2007)
Glenn Howerton: Dennis Reynolds
Photos
Quotes
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Charlie Kelly : What is going on up here?
[points to his head and laughs]
Dennis Reynolds : I never know, man.
Charlie Kelly : Daylight.
[pointing to a bright window]
Dennis Reynolds : Yeah, I like that.
[pointing to Charlie's keyboard beat]
Charlie Kelly : Day, Day-man.
Dennis Reynolds : Dayman?
Charlie Kelly : Fighter of the Night Man, Champion of the...
Dennis Reynolds : Sun.
Charlie Kelly : Sun! You're a master of karate...
Dennis Reynolds : And friendship, for everyone.
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Mac : [referring to band] You're not in it.
Dennis Reynolds : Why am I not in it? I have a great voice.
Mac : You do have a great voice. You know what man, you have an excellent voice. The problem is that you're like into all of that early eighties glam rock fem shit and that's not the artistic direction that I want to take the band in.
Dennis Reynolds : Artistic direction? You guys don't even play instruments.
Mac : Well that doesn't matter, does it? Because it's all about rocking and looking good and kicking ass.
Frank Reynolds : Yeah, he's right. It's all about image and marketing. I mean, there are no band out there with any musical ability.
Mac : Frank, I like the way you think. You're in the band!
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Dennis Reynolds : What's with the uh, curtains?
Charlie Kelly : I'm living in a world of darkness.
Dennis Reynolds : Right. Let's get some light in here.
[pulls down curtains and sees Charlie with silver spray paint around his nose and mouth from huffing]
Dennis Reynolds : Whoa, what's with the spray paint, man?
Charlie Kelly : Uhh, what's with your outfit, man?
Dennis Reynolds : Why don't we put the curtains back up?
Charlie Kelly : No, no. What is going on up here?
[points to his head]
Dennis Reynolds : I never know, man.
Charlie Kelly : [starts a beat with his electric piano] Daylight...
[points to windows]
Dennis Reynolds : Yeah, I like that.
Charlie Kelly : Day-Dayman.
Dennis Reynolds : Dayman.
Charlie Kelly : Fighter of the Nightman. Champion of the... sun. You're a master of karate...
Dennis Reynolds : ...and friendship, for everyone.
Charlie Kelly : Dayman, that's it!
Dennis Reynolds : Dayman, ahh-ahh-ahh!
Charlie Kelly : ...Fighter of the Nightman.
Dennis Reynolds : Ahh-ahh-ahh.
Dennis Reynolds , Charlie Kelly : Champion of the sun. Ahh-ahh-ahh. You're a master of karate and friendship for everyone! Dayman.
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Dennis Reynolds : What the hell is this? A page from a coloring book?
Mac : It's a song Charlie wrote. It's called Nightman. Skip all the raping parts and get on the stage.
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Frank Reynolds : You look like a drag queen.
Dennis Reynolds : I look like a rock god.
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Dennis Reynolds : I have an awful lot of reading to do...
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Dennis Reynolds : Holy shit. No, that guy's retarded.
Dee Reynolds : Well, you're retarded.
Dennis Reynolds : No, Dee, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying he is an actual retarded person. Yeah, we went to elementary school together. He used to take classes in a trailer outside school. He rode the short bus.
Dee Reynolds : Whatever. You think I wouldn't know if the guy I'm dating is retarded?
[the gang gives her a look]
Dee Reynolds : There is no way I am dating a retarded person.