Being Human (TV Series)

Pilot (2008)

Guy Flanagan: John Mitchell

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Quotes 

• John Mitchell : I've got this friend. He says the human condition, the human nature, 'being human' - is to be cold and alone. Like someone lost in the woods. It's safe to say he's a 'glass-is-half-empty' kind of guy. And I see nature differently. I see the ancient machinery of the world. Elegant and ferocious, neither good nor bad, it's full of beautiful things, unspeakable things. The trick is to keep them hidden - until the right moment.

• George Sands : Why now?

  John Mitchell : I don't know. When in Rome, stop killing the other Romans?

• John Mitchell : So, you've just arrived at Hogwarts, which house do they put you in?

  George Sands : I'd like to say Gryffindor, but they're supposed to be brave. What's the other one? Ravenclaw, does that have a characteristic?

  John Mitchell : I think they're brainy. You could be in Ravenclaw.

  Annie : I quite fancy Hufflepuff actually. I've always thought in Hufflepuff they just spend the day making stuff with safety scissors and glitter.

  George Sands : What about you?

  John Mitchell : I think that they'd say. It's probably best if you just stay in the canteen for the next five years.

  Annie : Does anyone ever 'choose' Slytherin?

  George Sands : No, because that would be like saying 'I'm a sociopath.'

• John Mitchell : Nice blouse. Where did you leave your clothes?

  George Sands : I don't know. I don't know where we are. I had to get the operator to tell me where I was calling from.

• John Mitchell : This is the curse, George, not what happens to you every full moon - this!

• George Sands : So, a house or a flat?

  John Mitchell : Whatever we can afford.

  George Sands : And if we need to move on again?

  John Mitchell : We move on.

  George Sands : We share the cleaning.

  John Mitchell : We can draw up a roster, I'll buy highlighter pens and everything.

  George Sands : What about guests?

  John Mitchell : We can't ask them to clean.

  George Sands : No. What if one of us wants to have a guest?

  John Mitchell : In your last house you clearly had a level of security that I'm not used to. You want a guest. You have a guest. Wait a second, are you talking about a lady shaped guest?

• John Mitchell : I'm not having you turn my nice house into the Playboy mansion.

• John Mitchell : Just so you know, people have said it's creepy here.

  George Sands : It bloody will be now.

• George Sands : This is ridiculous. What could be scarier than one of us?

  John Mitchell : A bigger one of us.

• John Mitchell : You could say we're all from different parts of the same country.

• John Mitchell : How did you die Annie?

  Annie : Quickly.

• John Mitchell : Trust me George, there are worse things than death.

• John Mitchell : Don't discourage her. With any luck she'll start cooking soon too.

• Annie : Hiya.

  John Mitchell : Have you been sitting there long?

  Annie : Define long.

  John Mitchell : An hour?

  Annie : Then yeah.

• George Sands : You look weird.

  John Mitchell : This from a man in cullottes.

• John Mitchell : You'd be better in a fight, you're stocky.

  George Sands : I'm not stocky.

  John Mitchell : Look at you, you're like... you know in a cartoon when a safe falls on someone...?

• John Mitchell : She's a ghost.

  Annie : And your point being?

• Annie : Ah well, you shouldn't be eating bacon anyway, should you - you're Jewish.

  George Sands : Yeah, I gave up on the whole orthodoxy thing when I started turning into a wolf.

  Annie : Do they have rules about being a werewolf as well?

  George Sands : I think you'd be hard pressed to find a religion that doesn't frown on it.

  John Mitchell : What about the Moonies?