- Sheldon Cooper: Do you ever wish that you weren't smart?
- Dr. John Sturgis: So I would be short, lonely and stupid? No, that seems worse.
- Dr. John Sturgis: When I was in the psychiatric ward, I learned that people who are struggling emotionally often just need to be heard.
- Sheldon Cooper: Hmm. Sounds difficult, but I suppose I could try.
- Dr. John Sturgis: Another thing I learned in the hospital is that some people believe there are weird mole men living in tunnels deep inside the earth.
- Sheldon Cooper: [a bit disturbed] Well, this has been mostly helpful.
- Dr. John Sturgis: And you're mostly welcome.
- Mary Cooper: Paige is going through a hard time right now and I think she could really use a friend.
- Sheldon Cooper: A crocodile could really use a meal, but that doesn't mean I should leap into his mouth.
- Paige: Everyone around me is acting so weird: my mom is going out on dates, my dad is acting like a child, my little sister cries all the time, I keep wishing everything would just go back to normal but I don't think it is.
- Georgie Cooper: I'm never having kids.
- Connie 'Meemaw' Tucker: [laughs] That's probably the smartest thing you've ever said.