- The Butcher: [addressing the crowd at The Beatin' Dungeon] Now, what I want everyone to do is to talk to three villains you haven't talked to before, because an evil stranger is just an evil friend you haven't met yet; so, go out there and be on your worst behavior and have fun - but not too much fun, okay?
- Captain Man: All right, simmer down, everybody! Let's cut the chatter!
- ShoutOut: No one was talking.
- AWOL: Yeah, man. No chatter to cut.
- Captain Man: Oh. Well... . Kinda had my heart set on tellin' you guys to cut the chatter, so... can I come in again and maybe hear some chatter?
- AWOL: I didn't know we were here to meet... YOUR needs.
- Captain Man: Well, guess what. You are.
- AWOL: Then we can do that.
- Captain Man: Great. Then I'll come in again.
- Bose O'Brian: I just came up with a great bad guy persona for myself. I wanna be... Bad Bose!
- Mika Macklin: That's definitely bad but not in the way you're thinking.
- Bose O'Brian: Oh, I'm not thinking AT ALL. That's my secret.
- [Chapa, as El Stabador, gives Doug the Thug a great evil idea]
- Doug the Thug: I like you.
- Chapa: [as El Stabador] I like me, too.
- Doug the Thug: You are goin' places, evil little girl.
- Chapa: Maybe I'm already there.
- ShoutOut: I got a better way to find the criminal.
- Captain Man: Better than spending six to eight days walking all over town, collecting criminal teeth to get that sweet sweet coin from the Tooth Fairy until we randomly happen upon some criminal that admits to stealing the books? I'd like to hear it.
- Captain Man: Settle down, buddy. You're gonna be here for thirty-two Cap-ters, an Epilogue, an alt ending, and a whole section at the end where I teach you how to draw a cartoon version of me.
- Brainstorm: And you gotta let us adopt a dog.
- Schwoz: No-kay.
- Brainstorm: Fine! But if I steal another garden gnome to fill the void inside me, it's your fault!
- Schwoz: [as Pain-ter the face painter] Stop trying to eat the paintbrush.
- Bose O'Brian: [as a Yerban Santa Claus] But it looks like frosting.