- Gary Brooks: [about her butt-tattoo] Please! Let me see it, please!
- Vanessa Flood: You've already seen it!
- Gary Brooks: Yeah, but - but I've never seen it in the light. I'll show it a great deal of respect. I promise.
- Vanessa Flood: I don't know. I spend one night with you, and you want to take me away for the weekend? I must have been pretty amazing.
- Gary Brooks: Until I check the video tape from last night I won't know for sure.
- Allison Brooks: [had the kids over his weekend] I kept them because we were doing a two-hour juice cleanse and I knew you wouldn't honor it.
- Gary Brooks: Probably not. No, when my kids are starving, I - I tend to *feed* them... Sorry if that makes me the *fun* parent.
- Allison Brooks: [Gary asks why she must quote psycho-babble to the kids] Because, children of divorce are more likely to struggle in their own relationships. There's an entire chapter on it in "Rules for a Perfect Divorce". The book Dr. Krandall gave both of us to read. *God* you haven't even opened yours, have you!
- Gary Brooks: I don't have to read it, I have the *audio* version seated on my couch!
- Allison Brooks: Have - have you noticed that Tommy is scared to death of girls?
- Gary Brooks: He should be afraid of girls! They pretend to like you, and then they take all your stuff!
- Allison Brooks: [she and Dr. Krandall are encouraging Tommy to explore "Second Life" to meet girls] It's an online society, Gary. Okay? It's a safe place for him to meet other teens.
- Gary Brooks: Yeah, and maybe a Congressman!
- Gary Brooks: [to Tommy on the computer] Hey, look at that, "Second Life" Wow, that's pretty cool. You know we, uh, we didn't have anything like that when I was a kid. We had, uh, - outside.