- DCI Tom Barnaby: Jones.
- DS Ben Jones: Yes, sir!
- DCI Tom Barnaby: I'm not going to get you tarred and feathered and sent to traffic, all right?
- DS Ben Jones: You're not?
- DCI Tom Barnaby: No.
- DS Ben Jones: I thought I'd dropped you in it with the Boy Wonder, sir.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Well, yes, you did. But your candour merely hastens the inevitable.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Layla. We'd like a word about James Parkes.
- Layla Barkham: Hm. One word: bastard.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: More would be better.
- Layla Barkham: Lying, devious bastard.
- DS Ben Jones: You're being bailed, not released, Mr Parkes. Better stay out of trouble.
- James Parkes: Is that an official warning or a personal threat?
- DS Ben Jones: Both.
- [last lines]
- DCI Tom Barnaby: We *have*, as a result of good teamwork, put the murderer behind bars.
- CS John Cotton: So I'd heard. Well done.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: You may not be as pleased when you see the overtime figures, Sir, in the new year; we've been filling in your time-sheets.
- [Barnaby joins the carollers in singing 'God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen']
- CS John Cotton: You've had a similar incident of arson recently.
- DS Ben Jones: Yeah, that'll be...
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Polter, the pyromaniac. I'm fairly sure it wasn't him.
- CS John Cotton: Fuzzy logic, Tom. Gut instinct can let you down; systems won't.
- DS Ben Jones: We banged Polter up last Wednesday, sir.
- DS Ben Jones: [Wearing a blindfold] Can't see a thing!
- DCI Tom Barnaby: [Sarcastically] Something to do with wearing a blindfold.
- DS Ben Jones: Don't look now, sir, but we're being watched.
- DCI Tom Barnaby: Where?
- DS Ben Jones: One o'clock. Big man in red.
- [Barnaby looks in the direction and sees a plastic Santa on the roof of a house]
- DCI Tom Barnaby: [sarcastically] Oh, you're full of fun today, Jones.
- Caroline Halsey: [to Barnaby] The difference between a parent's love and a grandparent's is that a grandparent's is not unconditional.
- Matt Parkes: Don't you realize, Son, everything comes with a cost. Sooner or later someone...
- James Parkes: You still don't get it, do you, dad? All your truth, honour, loyalty and morals crap... It's the bastards who get what they want in this world, not the good guys.
- Caroline Halsey: You can't think I'm the only soul round here that wishes you a terrifying comeuppance.
- James Parkes: Screw you, Grandma!
- DS Ben Jones: Well, that's my Christmas Eve stuffed the wrong way up the chimney, sir. How about yours?