The Middleman (TV Series)

The Pilot Episode Sanction (2008)

Natalie Morales: Wendy Watson

Photos 

Quotes 

• [creature runs around noisily while being tased] 

  The Middleman : Heck of a mess, huh.

  Wendy Watson : Excuse me?

  [Creature explodes - all is quiet] 

  The Middleman : I said, heck of a mess. Huh.

  Wendy Watson : Whatever. I'm a temp.

  [sirens approach] 

  The Middleman : Hey, now! The heat's on its way. Okay, cowgirl, here's your marching orders. Anyone asks, this was a gas main explosion. I was never here, this conversation never took place.

  Wendy Watson : Marching orders? What about that hentai tentacle monster?

  The Middleman : [shrugs]  Tell the truth if you want, but if you do, I'm going to have to root you like a hog and kill you.

  [beat] 

  The Middleman : Sorry. So, what's it going to be: Keep the secret, or death?

  Wendy Watson : What do you think?

  The Middleman : Ma'am, specificity is the soul of all good communication.

  Wendy Watson : [beat]  Yes. Duh.

  [his wristwatch Voice Stress Analyzer reads 99%] 

  The Middleman : Outstanding. You're good under pressure.

  Wendy Watson : Are you hitting on me?

  The Middleman : Just making an observation.

  Wendy Watson : [not quite under her breath]  Hellooo, nutjob, party of one.

  The Middleman : No, Ma'am. I'm just The Middleman.

• [Wendy Watson is on the phone at the receptionist desk of AND Labs] 

  Wendy Watson : Yes, Mother, I am still dating that guy, and his name is Ben.

  [listens] 

  Wendy Watson : No, he is *not* a homosexual... he's in film school.

• [Title Card: Corridor to the illegal sublet Wendy shares with another young, photogenic artist. 7:00 P.M.] 

  Noser : Yo, Wendy Watson.

  Wendy Watson : Hey, Noser.

  Noser : Who's the Man?

  Wendy Watson : That would be Shaft, Noser.

  Noser : What kind of man?

  Wendy Watson : A complicated man.

  Noser : And who understands him?

  Wendy Watson : No one but his woman.

  Noser : Right on.

• Lacey Thornfield : I'm a confrontational spoken-word performance artist. I confront. I speak. Art.

  [beat] 

  Lacey Thornfield : What do you do, DubDub?

  Wendy Watson : Well, I save the world in my own way. Did I get any calls?

  Lacey Thornfield : Yeah, your Mom called to ask if you're a lesbian... and Ben called! He wants to come later... he has a surprise for you.

  Wendy Watson : Did he say anything about world travel, champagne, or diamonds?

  Lacey Thornfield : [chuckles]  What's it like being somebody's beard?

  Wendy Watson : He's in film school.