The Office (TV Series)
Golden Ticket (2009)
Steve Carell: Michael Scott
Photos
Quotes
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Michael Scott : Okay, we need a golden-ticket idea to get us out of this mess. Yes?
[Pam has her hand raised]
Pam Beesly : Does that mean an idea that blows up in our faces later?
Jim Halpert : Good one.
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Dwight Schrute : Knock-knock.
Michael Scott : Who's there?
Dwight Schrute : K.G.B.
Michael Scott : K.G.B. wh...
Dwight Schrute : [smacks Michael] WE will ask the questions!
Michael Scott : What the HELL was that?
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Michael Scott : Hey, hey, hey. You idiot.
Darryl Philbin : Start over.
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Michael Scott : We think a lot alike. Sometimes you will think something, and I will say what you're thinking.
Dwight Schrute : Okay, what am I thinking right now?
Michael Scott : Nacho chips.
Dwight Schrute : No. I was thinking about how the skin is the largest organ of the body.
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Michael Scott : Okay, I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to be honest. What is a pallet?
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[as David Wallace congratulates Dwight for the Golden Ticket idea and Michael tries to get Dwight to admit it's not his]
Jim Halpert : You're talking to Dwight Schrute, the biggest "Wonka" fan I know. I mean, you've been talking about that movie for years.
Michael Scott : What?
Jim Halpert : [to Dwight] You know what, I even made fun of you when you dressed up as Willy Wonka to pitch this idea, and for that I apologize.
Dwight Schrute : Apology rejected.
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Michael Scott : Why do you have a diary?
Dwight Schrute : [whispering] To keep secrets from my computer.
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Michael Scott : I am just a net that traps all of your crappy subconscious ideas and adds a little bit of my own childhood memories and whimsy, so...
Jim Halpert : [interrupting] Okay, well, I lost a ton of money today. And I have a mortgage, so I'm a little pissed, too.
Michael Scott : Thank you. Jim is with me.
Jim Halpert : Absolutely not. I'm mad at you.
Michael Scott : Well, you know what, Jim, it is not my fault that you bought a house to impress Pam. That is why carnations exist.
Creed Bratton : That's not why.
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Michael Scott : I have written these things because it is my responsibility as manager of this branch to profiligate great ideas.
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Michael Scott : There is no movie called Willy Wonka! It's called Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!
Pam Beesly : It's actually based on the book called Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
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Michael Scott : Pam, knock-knock.
Pam Beesly : [Whispering] I'm on the phone.
Michael Scott : [Also whispering] I know you are, knock-knock.
Pam Beesly : [On the phone] You can fax it over. Yeah, five, seven, zero, five, five, five...
Michael Scott : [Trying to distract Pam] Four, nine, one.
Pam Beesly : Zero, one.
Michael Scott : Seven, four.
Pam Beesly : Seven, five.
Michael Scott : Flive, line.
Pam Beesly : Zero, one. Seven, five. Than you, bye-bye.
[Hangs up]
Pam Beesly : That really makes us look unprofessional.
Michael Scott : They will never know it was me doing it. Here we go, knock-knock.
Pam Beesly : [Exasperated pause] Who's there?
Michael Scott : Buda.
Pam Beesly : Buda who?
Michael Scott : Buda this bread for me, won't you?
[Leaves a loaf of bread and a piece of butter on the table]