The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The Killer Robot Instability (2009)
Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz
Photos
Quotes
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Howard Wolowitz : Once again, Penny and I have begun our little tango. The carnal repartee, the erotic to and fro. But as delicious as the appetizer might be, at some point we have to succumb and eat the entree while it's still...
[mimes sizzle]
Howard Wolowitz : ... hot.
Leonard Hofstadter : I'm begging you, stop talking.
Penny : Normally, I can just ignore you. I get it. You're a little peculiar, like Sheldon.
Sheldon Cooper : Excuse me, Penny, but in this room, you are the one who is peculiar.
Penny : You may be right. But back to you. I know you think you're just some kind of smooth-talking ladies man, but the truth is you're just pathetic and creepy.
Howard Wolowitz : So, what are you saying?
Penny : I am saying that it is not a compliment to call me doable. It is not sexy to stare at my ass and say "Ooh, that must be jelly, 'cause jam don't shake like that." And we are not dancing a tango, we are not to-ing and fro-ing, othing's going to happen between us! Ever!
Howard Wolowitz : Wait a minute. We're not flirting, you're serious.
Penny : Flirting? You think I'm flirting with you? No woman is ever going to flirt with you! You're just going to grow old and die alone!
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Mrs. Wolowitz : Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework?
Howard Wolowitz : I don't have homework. I'm a grown man with a masters degree in engineering!
Mrs. Wolowitz : Excuse me, Mr. Fancypants. Want me to get you a Popsicle?
Howard Wolowitz : Cherry, please!
Mrs. Wolowitz : I ate the cherry! All that's left is green!
Howard Wolowitz : You make me want to kill myself!
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[last lines]
Sheldon Cooper : So, what do you think, Howard? I-it's not that bad, right?
Howard Wolowitz : Ah, nah, a little electrical tape, some solder... Are you insane! I've seen space probes that crashed into the desert that were in better shape than this.
Sheldon Cooper : You're right. Monte's gone. We'll bury him in the morning. A-a simple ceremony, I'll speak. Leonard, you'll play your cello.
Penny : Sheldon, honey, aren't you getting a little carried away? I mean, it's just a toy robot.
Sheldon Cooper : Just a toy robot...
[he runs to his room]
Leonard Hofstadter : Penny.
Penny : I know; I got it.
[she goes to Sheldon's room]
Penny : Sheldon! I'm sorry!
Howard Wolowitz : Well,
[pointing to his bandaged nose]
Howard Wolowitz : don't get the wrong idea. The way I see it I'm halfway to pity sex.
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Penny : Your mom seems nice.
Howard Wolowitz : People move away from her on the bus.
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[first lines]
Howard Wolowitz : All right, that's the last servo. Behold, the Mobile Omnidirectional Neutralization and Termination Eradicator, or
Howard Wolowitz , Leonard Hofstadter , Sheldon Cooper , Rajesh Koothrappali : Monte.
[pronounced monty]
Howard Wolowitz : Featuring one articulated razor-sharp killing saw, one polycarbonate grinding and flipping wheel, steel armor-plate exo-skeleton top and bottom, and enough horsepower to drive a hundred-and-ten pounds of mechanized death from zero to holy crap in four-point-eight seconds.
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Penny : Do you think that sometimes you try too hard?
Howard Wolowitz : Look at me. What chance do I have if I don't try too hard?
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Mrs. Wolowitz : Howard, there's a blonde girl, Patsy, here to see you.
Howard Wolowitz : Who?
Mrs. Wolowitz : Okay, now she's saying it's Penny.
Howard Wolowitz : I don't want to talk to her.
Penny : Hey.
Howard Wolowitz : Ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz : She ran past me. Was I supposed to tackle her?
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Howard Wolowitz : There's an awards banquet and a dance afterward. Perhaps you'd like to come with me. I know the other fellows would be very excited to see a girl there.
Penny : How is it supposed to be a dance if I'm the only girl?
Howard Wolowitz : Well, that may be a slight exaggeration. You'd be the only *doable* girl.
Penny : You're a pig, Howard.
Howard Wolowitz : How is doable anything but a compliment?
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Howard Wolowitz : Oh yeah, that door got the full Monte.
