The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Barbarian Sublimation (2008)

Kaley Cuoco: Penny

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Sheldon Cooper : Would you prefer to wait in our apartment?

  Penny : No, Sheldon, I'd rather sit on this freezing cold floor sobbing like a three-year-old.

  Sheldon Cooper : All right then.

  Penny : For God's sake!

  [Goes inside] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Just when I think I've gotten the hang of sarcasm.

• Sheldon Cooper : [Leonard comes walking out of his bedroom and hears this conversation coming from inside Sheldon's bedroom]  Please, Penny, enough. I have to sleep.

  Penny : Ok, well, you were great. Thanks.

  [Penny comes walking out of Sheldon's room quietly before spotting Leonard standing there] 

  Penny : Oh. Hey, Leonard, don't go in Sheldon's room, he's not wearing bottoms.

  [she walks away] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : [knocks on Sheldon's door]  Sheldon, you want to catch me up again?

• Penny : Uh, Queen Penelope AFK. What?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Okay, um, here's the thing, um, sometimes people, good people, you know, they start playing these games and they find themselves through no fault of their own, you know, kind of, addicted.

  Penny : Yeah, get to the point, I'm about to level up here.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Well, i-i-i-it's just if a person doesn't have a sense of achievement in their real life it's easy to lose themselves in a virtual world where they get a false sense of accomplishment.

  Penny : Yeah, jabber jabber jabber, okay boys, Queen Penelope's back online.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Penny, you've got cheetos in your hair.

  Penny : Oh, thanks.

  [Eats it] 

• Sheldon Cooper : Sheldor back on line.

  Penny : What's AFK?

  Sheldon Cooper : AFK. Away from keyboard.

  Penny : Oh, I see.

  Sheldon Cooper : What does that stand for?

  Penny : Oh, I see.

  Sheldon Cooper : Yes, but what does it stand for?

• [last lines] 

  Howard Wolowitz : [speaking through an avatar]  Hello, fair Penny.

  Penny : Who are you?

  Howard Wolowitz : It is I, Sir Howard of Wolowitz. Can I interest you in an afternoon of spirited questing, followed by a flagon of ale at yon virtual tavern?

  Penny : Yeah, sure, why not?

  Penny : [looking up from her laptop with a horrified expression]  Oh my God, I need help.

  [shuts laptop and pushes it away] 

• [first lines] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Fellow warriors, this is Sheldor the Conqueror. We are about to enter Atzel's Fortress; now, this is a long run so let's do another bladder check. All right, Barry, we'll wait for you again, but you really should see a doctor.

  [hears banging outside] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Sheldor is AFK.

  [goes into hall] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Penny, are you experiencing some sort of difficulty?

  Penny : Yes, I can't get my stupid door open.

  Sheldon Cooper : You appear to have put your car key in the door lock; are you aware of that?

  Penny : Yeah.

  Sheldon Cooper : All right, then.

  Penny : Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it!

  Sheldon Cooper : Would it be possible for you to do this a little more quietly?

  Penny : I can't get the damn key out.

  Sheldon Cooper : It's not surprising. That Baldwin lock on your door uses traditional edge-mounted cylinders, whereas the key for your Volkswagen uses a center cylinder system.

  Penny : Thank you, Sheldon!

  Sheldon Cooper : You're welcome. Point of inquiry: why did you put your car key in the door lock?

  Penny : Why? I'll tell you why. Because today I had an audition, it took me two hours to get there, I waited an hour for my turn, and before I could even start they told me I looked too Midwest for the part. Too Midwest? What the hell does that even mean?

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, the American Midwest was mostly settled by Scandinavian and Germanic peoples who, well they have a characteristic facial bone structure...

  Penny : I know what it means, Sheldon! God! You know, I have been in L.A. for almost two years now, and I haven't got a single acting job. I have accomplished nothing, haven't gotten a raise at work, haven't even had sex in six months, and just now when I was walking up those stairs a fly flew in my mouth and I ate it.

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, actually, insects are a dietary staple in many cultures, they're almost pure protein.

• Penny : No, Fritz, I need you on my flank. I don't know German. Flanken Sie! Flanken Sie!

• Leonard Hofstadter : You know there are groceries outside of your apartment?

  Penny : Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shh.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I only bring it up because your ice cream's melting and it's starting to attract wildlife.

• Penny : [Penny walks into Sheldon's room as he's sleeping]  Sheldon?

  [walks towards his bed] 

  Penny : Sheldon?

  Sheldon Cooper : [Sheldon abruptly sits up after a dream]  Danger, danger!

  Penny : No danger, look it's just me, Penny. Listen, I got to level 25 and reached Purple lotus swamp, right?

  Sheldon Cooper : You're in my bedroom.

  Penny : Yes, Leonard gave me an emergency key.

  Sheldon Cooper : People can't be in my bedroom.

  Penny : Ok, well, can we go talk in the living room?

  Sheldon Cooper : I'm not wearing pajama bottoms.

  Penny : Why not?

  Sheldon Cooper : I spilled grape juice.

  Penny : Well, wear different pajamas.

  Sheldon Cooper : Can't wear different pajamas; these are my Monday pajamas.

• Penny : Oh, my God! A treasure chest. I'm rich!

  Sheldon Cooper : Level 3 and she thinks she's rich. What a noob.

• Leonard Hofstadter : Shouldn't you be at work?

  Penny : I don't work on Mondays.

  Leonard Hofstadter : It's Thursday.

• Sheldon Cooper : On a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being always initiated by him and 5 being always initiated by you. How do you prefer your sexual encounters to begin?

  Penny : That's on the registration?

  Sheldon Cooper : Oh yes, it's quite extensive. But if we complete it, you get a free expansion pack, 75 additional quests.

  Penny : Ooh, awesome. Okay, I totally like to initiate. I'm a big old 5.

• Sheldon Cooper : Perhaps you should call a locksmith and have him open the door for you.

  Penny : I did. He said he'll get here when he gets here.

  Sheldon Cooper : And you're frustrated because he phrased his reply in the form of a meaningless tautology?

  Penny : No. I'm frustrated because I'm a failure at everything and my breath smells like fly.

• Sheldon Cooper : Just tell me, is it too soon to join a quest to the black castle?

  Sheldon Cooper : You were invited on a quest to the black castle?

  Penny : Yeah yeah, by some guys in Budapest. I'm just not sure it's the right move for my character.

  Sheldon Cooper : Of course it's not. You're only at level 25. These Hungarians are just using you for dragon fodder.