The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)
The White Asparagus Triangulation (2008)
Kaley Cuoco: Penny
Photos
Quotes
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Sheldon : [Knock, knock, knock] Penny.
[Knock, knock, knock]
Sheldon : Penny...
Penny : What?
Sheldon : [Knock, knock, knock] Penny. Zucchini bread.
Penny : Ooh. Thank you!
Sheldon : May I come in?
Penny : No.
Sheldon : Y - I see. Apparently, my earlier inquiry regarding you and Leonard crossed some sort of line. I apologize.
Penny : Aw, thank you.
Sheldon : So have you and I returned to a social equilibrium?
Penny : Yes.
Sheldon : Great. New Topic. Where are you in your menstrual cycle?
Penny : What?
Sheldon : I've been doing some research online and apparently, female primates - you know, apes, chimpanzees, YOU - they find their mate more desirable when he's being courted by another female. Now, this effect is intensified when the rival female, is secreting the pheromones associated with ovulation. Which brings me back to my question; where are you...
Sheldon : [Penny slams door on his face] Clearly I'm 14 days too early.
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Penny : OK, all right, you know what... I'll tell you what happened.
[sighs heavily]
Penny : We were young; we were very much in love. but we could only communicate through a time-traveling mailbox at my lake house.
Sheldon Cooper : It's not enough that you made me watch that movie, but now you mock me with it?
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Sheldon Cooper : [seeing the mess in Penny's apartment] Were you robbed?
Penny : No.
Sheldon Cooper : [looking around] How can you be sure?
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[first lines]
Sheldon Cooper : Penny! Hello.
Penny : Hey, Sheldon.
Sheldon Cooper : What is shaking?
Penny : [pause] I'm sorry?
Sheldon Cooper : It's colloquial, a conversation opener. So, do you find the weather satisfying? Are you currently sharing the triumph of some local sports team?
Penny : Whats wrong with you? You're freaking me out.
Sheldon Cooper : I'm striking up a casual conversation with you. Saa-uup?
Penny : Please don't do that.
Sheldon Cooper : All right, but I'm given to understand that when you have something *awkward* to discuss to someone it's more palatable to preface it with banal chit-chat.
Penny : So this *wasn't* the awkward part?
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Sheldon Cooper : Of the handful of women Leonard's been involved with, she's the only one I have ever found tolerable.
Penny : Well, what about me?
Sheldon Cooper : The statement stands for itself.
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Sheldon Cooper : I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido.
Penny : I could think about you.
Sheldon Cooper : Fine, whatever works.
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Penny : Leonard, congratulations.
Leonard Hofstadter : What for?
Penny : Your Facebook status update. Leonard Hofstadter is in a relationship.
Leonard Hofstadter : What? No... No, that's not right.
Howard Wolowitz : Oh, man, did you switch your status before she did? Speaking as an expert: way to look needy.
Penny : Seriously? You went first, after only two weeks? That's bold.
Leonard Hofstadter : It's not bold, it's a mistake. I didn't change my status.
Penny : Well, then who did?
[Everybody looks at Sheldon]
Sheldon Cooper : I had no choice; he cried in front of her.
Leonard Hofstadter : You hacked my Facebook account?
Sheldon Cooper : Oh, it's hardly hacking when you use the same password for everything, "Kal-El".
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Sheldon Cooper : I need to know exactly what Leonard did that caused you to pop an emotional cap in his buttocks.
Penny : What?
Sheldon Cooper : Again, urban slang, in which I believe I'm gaining remarkable fluency.
