- [first lines]
- Vanessa Flood: [wakes up in bed together] Good morning! Hi!
- Gary Brooks: Hi! Hey, didn't I paint your condo a couple weeks ago?
- Vanessa Flood: No, a bunch of workers painted my condo while you hit on me.
- Gary Brooks: You know what, those workers are living the American dream: show up on time, you work hard, and just maybe... your boss will get laid.
- Gary Brooks: [in pain after a night of sex, knock on door] Oh, please let that be a door-to-door chiropractor.
- Allison Brooks: [at her house] Were you in my hot tub?
- Gary Brooks: No, I was in *my* hot tub, that *I* built, with *my* hands, on *my* patio!
- Allison Brooks: Uh, that *my* lawyer was able to get from, *your* friend, who went to law school, on the *internet*!
- Dr. Walter Krandall: [Louise and Krandall show up at Gary's door in bike helmets] Allison asked if I could pick Tom and Louise up from school.
- Gary Brooks: Great! Where's Tom?
- Dr. Walter Krandall: Unfortunately, I only had enough room on my bike for one.
- Tom Brooks: [stumbles in the door out of breath] Ak. He made me run behind him! That's *not* the definition of being *picked up* at all!