It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (TV Series)

Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life (2008)

Rob McElhenney: Mac

Photos 

Quotes 

• Philadelphia Soul Executive : So Mr. Reynolds, you're interested in buying our arena football team.

  Frank Reynolds : Big time! But I wanna do business with Mr. Von Joni himself.

  Philadelphia Soul Executive : Bon Jovi.

  Frank Reynolds : Yeah, Mr. Bovine Joni himself. I'm offering $40 million for the team.

  Philadelphia Soul Executive : Wow, well that is a very generous offer but, uh, I must admit I'm a little confused about one thing.

  Frank Reynolds : What's confusing about $40 million? That's a shitload of money.

  Philadelphia Soul Executive : It is, it is. I'm a little confused as to why you've chosen to involve this gentleman here.

  Mac : [in a wheelchair wearing a bald cap]  Well, if I may, I'd like to explain to you why I'm here. Uh, ma'am, I am dying of very terminal cancer and I would like to request a private bedside concert from Mr. Bon Jovi. Now Sambora's presence is not necessary but it would be nice if he was involved. Question, is this a laser pointer?

  Philadelphia Soul Executive : Yes.

  Mac : Can I have it?

  Philadelphia Soul Executive : No.

  Mac : I'm gonna take it anyway.

• Frank Reynolds : I brought a nail gun.

  Dennis Reynolds : Is that what that is? You're not gonna shoot nails in me!

  Mac : No, I think a couple of severe burns from the cigar is what's gonna do the trick.

  Frank Reynolds : No, no, no, you need deep wounds. This'll give you deep wounds.

• Frank Reynolds : You better not lose your hair 'cause you're an ugly bald man.

  Mac : Not as ugly as you, bitch!

• Mac : Let's talk stigmatas.

• [Frank's fooling around with a laser pointer during a movie] 

  Mac : Shine it on his dick, shine it on his dick!