Batman: The Brave and the Bold (TV Series)

Invasion of the Secret Santas! (2008)

Diedrich Bader: Batman

Quotes 

• Batman : Okay, Beetle, Sportsmaster's mine. You take the second-stringers.

  Blue Beetle : [his suit's antennae warble in an alien language]  Don't tell me what to do, goober.

  [Batman leaps away into action] 

  Blue Beetle : Oh, great. Now Batman thinks I'm a jerk.

  [his suit's antennae warble again] 

  Blue Beetle : Well, how's he supposed to know you started talking to me?

  [more warbling] 

  Blue Beetle : Hey, call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure Batman doesn't banter with his suit.

• Batman : [punching the head off a Santa Claus robot in front of two kids]  Pretend you didn't see that.

• Batman : This is about more than ruining Christmas. Fun Haus is a crook before he's anything else. And why do you care so much, anyway?

  Red Tornado : I am lacking Christmas spirit. It is something I wish to experience.

  Batman : It's overrated.

  Red Tornado : Observation: I am not the only one who lacks it.

  [giving him a present] 

  Red Tornado : Perhaps this will help us both.

  Batman : You shouldn't have.

• Red Tornado : Declaration: you will endanger these people no further, robot.

  [Fun Haus fights back against his tornadoes] 

  Red Tornado : Need more power.

  Batman : Tornado, you're putting too much stress on your body.

  Red Tornado : [taking down Fun Haus' robot, he beings to malfunction]  Odd. I am feeling a strange tingling sensation.

• Red Tornado : I am not detecting any Christmas spirit within you.

  Batman : Thanks, but I didn't get you anything.

  Red Tornado : Do not apologize. I understand giving exemplifies the holiday spirit, not receiving. Yet I still do not feel this spirit I am told of. There should be a tingling sensation, correct?

  Batman : When you start tingling, I'd see a repairman.

• Batman : Sportsmaster. Figures I'd find you in the gutters.

  Sportsmaster : I like to play fair, Batman, but you're outnumbered.

  Blue Beetle : [taking down one of his thugs]  Then it's a good thing crime-fighting is a team sport.

• Red Tornado : Neptune is unihabited.

  Batman : No kidding. Search your database for Christmas movies featuring aliens.

  Red Tornado : Done. One reference: "Holiday for Neptunians". Produced 1954. The alien transmission was taken from the film.

  Batman : I'll herd them and draw their fire. You do the rest.

• Fun Haus : You guys have been the best play pals I could have ever asked for. Now I only have one more game for you. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and I've hidden a bomb/And if you don't find it, all won't be calm.

  Batman : Come on, Tornado. There's no time to lose.

• Batman : They'll have you put back together in no time, Tornado.

  Red Tornado : Observation: it was an amazing feeling, Batman.

  Batman : Merry Christmas.

  [as Tornado is taken away, he gets into the Batmobile] 

  Batman : [finding a present inside, it's the nutcracker from his childhood]  Merry Christmas to you, too, Alfred.

  [getting an alert on his dashboard] 

  Batman : But crime doesn't take a holiday, and neither do I.

• Red Tornado : Merry Christmas, Batman.

  Batman : Now's not the time, Red Tornado.

  Red Tornado : But isn't Christmas tomorrow?

  Batman : Not what I mean. Tornado, behind you!

• Batman : Plastic. These are Earth-made toys.

  Red Tornado : Cross-referencing known producers of flying-saucer toys.

  Batman : You won't find a match for this stamp.

  Red Tornado : Stamp does not match listed manufacturers.

  Batman : I just said that. Like any artist with a giant ego, he has to sign his work. Don't you, Fun Haus?

• Fun Haus : Oh, it's the most wonderful time of the year.

  Batman : You'll be doing hard time by New Year's.

  Fun Haus : Not if you're in the grave by lunch. If I can't steal from these people on Christmas, then I'll just steal Christmas from these people.

• Red Tornado : Observation: the search for the bomb was only a wild-goose chase.

  Batman : Then what has he been trying to distract us from?

  Red Tornado : Christmas morning. I hope today, we both get what we wish for most.

  Batman : [flashing back to the night his parents were murdered]  Sometimes what you wish for most is the one thing you can never have. Speaking of wish lists, that logo. Fun Haus made the Presto Playpals. So that's his evil game.