Batman: The Brave and the Bold (TV Series)

Game Over for Owlman! (2009)

Diedrich Bader: Batman, Owlman

Quotes 

• Joker : Bats, based on this little adventure, if you weren't the stalwart hero and I wasn't the homicidal maniac, we could've been friends.

  Batman : [thinking]  Thanks to the Red Hood, I know that somewhere inside the Joker, there is a decent man.

  Joker : But next time, Batman, I'll have the trump card. The Clown Prince of Crime will have the final laugh.

  Batman : [thinking, as Joker cackles]  Or maybe not.

• Joker : Fess up, Bats. What made you take a chance on me?

  Red Hood : [in Batman's memory]  Whoever he is, I hope my counterpart on your world will have a chance to repay you.

  Batman : Something a friend said.

• Batman : [escaping into a secret tunnel]  I have spider holes like this all over Gotham, built to surprise my enemies. Never expected to use them to save myself.

• Batman : Funny thing about wild cards, Joker. You never know which way they'll fall.

• Joker : Recently, business has been lousy, but I'm about to make a real killing.

  [as Batman advances, he pulls the trigger of his gun and a Bang! flag pops out] 

  Joker : [getting punched in the face]  Huh. Never could take a joke.

  Batman : But I can deliver a punchline.

• Owlman : We all know how this works. A fair trade. Your buddies for my phase oscillator. Everyone goes home happy.

  Joker : Listen, you creep in bat's clothing, we don't make deals with criminal scum

  Batman : [taking the microphone]  Don't touch my radio. We don't make deals with criminal scum, usually.

  Owlman : Don't care about your friends? Fine. How about the man in the street?

  Batman : [showing Joker the controls]  Brake, choke, throttle.

  Joker : Ooh, my kind of fun.

• Owlman : [taking the phase oscillator]  I'll be taking what's mine now. When I return with my friends, we'll take everything else.

  Joker : Well, finally, a Batman who's in on the joke.

  Batman : I knew you'd betray me, Joker. You said it. In the end, I'd have to count on myself. So in the split second I was gone, I spent a week visiting parallel Earths. Traveling alone is a great way to get in touch with yourself. In fact, I really bonded with me, myself, and I.

  [various parallel Batmen appear out of a breach] 

  Batman : Shall we?

• Batman : [thinking]  I return from the world of opposites only to find my own has gone topsy-turvy. And according to the date, I've been gone three weeks. Seems the phase oscillator does more than simply bridge worlds. It warps time.

  [seeing Owlman robbing a bank dressed in a Batsuit] 

  Batman : Of course. Looks like I wasn't the only one playing dress-up on a parallel world.

• Batman : [thinking]  So this is how it ends. Not in a battle against criminals, but taken down by my own best friends.

• Owlman : Out of the way, you giggling ghoul.

  Joker : No way, Bat-fake. He's mine. It's my destiny to take out the Caped Crusader.

  [the machine above them buzzes] 

  Joker : [realizing what's about to happen]  Drat.

• Owlman : Since Batman's being such a spoilsport, Joker, maybe you'll wanna play along. I knew you were coming, so I planned a surprise just for you. Your very own trap, primed and ready for Batman, if you're interested.

  Batman : Joker?

  Joker : Oh, Bat-buddy, we shared some laughs, and I really gave the hero thing the old clown-college try. But it's just not me.

• Joker : I don't wanna fight. I wanna be partners. Assuming you're you and not that pointy-eared fake-in-a-cape.

  Batman : How do you know about my imposter?

  Joker : Still wound tighter than a straightjacket, I see. Ah, you're the dull deal, all right. And as for your doppel-gangster, you see, he messed with the natural order. Not your style at all. Batman, a worse threat to Gotham than the Harlequin of Hate? Why, it's libelous, I say! You know it's always been my gift to bring smiles to others. But inside, I'm one very sad clown. So, crazy thought. You and I team against our common foe.

  Batman : Only a twisted, diseased mind like yours could think of such a plan. I'll deal with Owlman myself.

  Joker : You need me, Sonny Jim! If the new you is as good at being bad as the old you is at being you, then neither of you can beat the other on your own, see? But if Owlman's another you, he craves control. And who better to take down a control freak than the nemesis of order, the Clown Prince of Chaos, moi? Just think about how many times I've nearly punched your ticket.

  Batman : [thinking]  The clown's crazy, but he's onto something. Adding an unexpected element to the mix could tip things in my favor.

  Plastic Man : [looking through the skylight]  Found him. And he's not alone.

  Joker : So, shall we take your car... or mine?

  [unveils the Jokermobile] 

• Owlman : You know I'll be back somehow to even the score, Batman.

  Batman : And you know I'll take you down every time.

• Batman : [thinking]  We need to go somewhere safe to figure out our next move. But Owlman has the Batmobile.

  [a car approaches] 

  Batman : [into a hand-held remote control]  Stop.

  [it stops in front of him] 

  Batman : [thinking]  Good thing I keep a spare.

• Owlman : Welcome home, Dark Knight.

  Batman : Owlman. You beat my fail-safe holding cell.

  Owlman : A titanium alloy, seven-pin, eight-cam lock with only three layers of redundancy? That wouldn't have stopped you. And since you're alive, that means you defeated my friends and freed my enemies. Impressive. I bet you'd like the keys to your life back now, such as it is.

  Batman : And you'd like the phase oscillator, so you can go home and prepare an invasion.

• Green Arrow : You're a hard bat to pin down, old friend. Hero one second, villain the next.

  Batman : Green Arrow, the criminal you're after isn't me. He's my evil double from a parallel world.

  Green Arrow : [skeptical]  Right.

• Batman : O'Brian, you're in danger. Stay put. I'm coming to you.

  Plastic Man : Nice try, Batman. Even you can't get the drop on me three times in one... day?

  [he's neutralized in a block of ice by Owlman] 

  Plastic Man : [shivering]  How does he do that?

• Batman : [thinking]  I keep detailed files on my friends. Methods to neutralize them in case any of us ever fall under a criminal's control. I never dreamed my precautions would fall into the wrong hands. Evil hands.

  [out loud] 

  Batman : Well, Joker, you ready to do this?

  Joker : To the Batmobile!

  [cackling, he gets in] 

  Joker : Ooh, what's this one do?

  [the sound of hissing gas is heard, followed by his snoring] 

• Owlman : Hey, I got the heroes off your back. How about a little gratitude? Say, a phase oscillator, perhaps?

  Batman : Not feeling very gracious right now.

  Joker : [watching them fight]  So, not hurt anyone, hmm.

  [taking out various weapons] 

  Joker : Too toxic. Too stabby. Too fruity. Say, where's my...?

  [pulling a bazooka out of his pocket] 

  Joker : The real one will move. He always does.

  [firing it and finding Batman buried in the rubble] 

  Joker : Ha ha, oopsie.

• Batman : [in the Batmobile]  Joker, if we're going to work together, I need your word you won't hurt anyone.

  Joker : Hmm. Not really me, but what the heck. I'm in. Put her there.

  [offering a handshake; Batman looks at him suspiciously] 

  Joker : [showing him the joy buzzer]  Oopsy, Batsy, old habits. Speaking of old, they don't build 'em like this anymore.

  [pointing to a button] 

  Joker : So, what's this one do?

  Batman : Don't touch that.

  Joker : [pointing to another]  What's this do?

  Batman : Don't touch that.

  Joker : What's this one do?

  Batman : Don't touch that.

  Joker : [seeing a large, red button]  Oh, shiny. What does this one do?

  Batman : You really don't wanna touch that.

  [pressing the button, gas blows into Joker's face; getting knocked out, he starts snoring] 

  Batman : Told you not to touch it.

• Batman : [thinking]  I combed through Owlman's files, he searched mine. Which means Owlman knows every hero's weakness.

  Joker : [taking notes behind him]  What? I'm helping.

• Owlman : Gentlemen, I hope you're enjoying your accommodations. Each was tailored to your special needs. Five more minutes under that lamp, Aquaman, and you'll be fish jerky. Hope you like taffy, Plastic Man. You're about to become it. My own invention, Blue Beetle. Heroes check in, but they don't check out. Atom, at your size, a hit from a single lead particle will be like a direct shot from a cannonball. Speaking of shots...

  Green Arrow : [lashed to a bullseye in front of a life-size crossbow]  Yeah, okay, I get it.

  Owlman : When this magnet tears you apart, Red Tornado, Clock King will get a chance to see what makes you tick.

  Batman : So, you recruited these venomous vipers to help you with your diabolical scheme.

  Owlman : Of course, Batman. Seems they wanted to see all of you iced, too. So I repeat, give me the phase oscillator or the heroes die.

  Batman : And you lose your only ticket home.