Batman: The Brave and the Bold (TV Series)
Game Over for Owlman! (2009)
Jeff Bennett: Red Hood, Joker
Quotes
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Joker : Bats, based on this little adventure, if you weren't the stalwart hero and I wasn't the homicidal maniac, we could've been friends.
Batman : [thinking] Thanks to the Red Hood, I know that somewhere inside the Joker, there is a decent man.
Joker : But next time, Batman, I'll have the trump card. The Clown Prince of Crime will have the final laugh.
Batman : [thinking, as Joker cackles] Or maybe not.
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Joker : Sensing a lack of trust, Batsy. I get it. We don't play well with others, so end of the day, neither of us can count on anyone but ourselves.
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Joker : Tsk, tsk, tsk. Batman, our game was so simple. Brooding hero, dashing, devil-may-care villain. I strap you to a drill press, you lock me in a rubber room. And it's fits and giggles until Aunt Fanny comes home. But if you think you can switch sides and out-criminal the Clown Prince of Crime, it's only fair to warn you, I always blow away the competition.
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Joker : How absolutely exhilarating! I could get used to this hero stuff. Besides, nobody kills my wingman but me.
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Owlman : We all know how this works. A fair trade. Your buddies for my phase oscillator. Everyone goes home happy.
Joker : Listen, you creep in bat's clothing, we don't make deals with criminal scum
Batman : [taking the microphone] Don't touch my radio. We don't make deals with criminal scum, usually.
Owlman : Don't care about your friends? Fine. How about the man in the street?
Batman : [showing Joker the controls] Brake, choke, throttle.
Joker : Ooh, my kind of fun.
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Owlman : [taking the phase oscillator] I'll be taking what's mine now. When I return with my friends, we'll take everything else.
Joker : Well, finally, a Batman who's in on the joke.
Batman : I knew you'd betray me, Joker. You said it. In the end, I'd have to count on myself. So in the split second I was gone, I spent a week visiting parallel Earths. Traveling alone is a great way to get in touch with yourself. In fact, I really bonded with me, myself, and I.
[various parallel Batmen appear out of a breach]
Batman : Shall we?
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Owlman : Since Batman's being such a spoilsport, Joker, maybe you'll wanna play along. I knew you were coming, so I planned a surprise just for you. Your very own trap, primed and ready for Batman, if you're interested.
Batman : Joker?
Joker : Oh, Bat-buddy, we shared some laughs, and I really gave the hero thing the old clown-college try. But it's just not me.
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Joker : I don't wanna fight. I wanna be partners. Assuming you're you and not that pointy-eared fake-in-a-cape.
Batman : How do you know about my imposter?
Joker : Still wound tighter than a straightjacket, I see. Ah, you're the dull deal, all right. And as for your doppel-gangster, you see, he messed with the natural order. Not your style at all. Batman, a worse threat to Gotham than the Harlequin of Hate? Why, it's libelous, I say! You know it's always been my gift to bring smiles to others. But inside, I'm one very sad clown. So, crazy thought. You and I team against our common foe.
Batman : Only a twisted, diseased mind like yours could think of such a plan. I'll deal with Owlman myself.
Joker : You need me, Sonny Jim! If the new you is as good at being bad as the old you is at being you, then neither of you can beat the other on your own, see? But if Owlman's another you, he craves control. And who better to take down a control freak than the nemesis of order, the Clown Prince of Chaos, moi? Just think about how many times I've nearly punched your ticket.
Batman : [thinking] The clown's crazy, but he's onto something. Adding an unexpected element to the mix could tip things in my favor.
Plastic Man : [looking through the skylight] Found him. And he's not alone.
Joker : So, shall we take your car... or mine?
[unveils the Jokermobile]
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Batman : [thinking] I keep detailed files on my friends. Methods to neutralize them in case any of us ever fall under a criminal's control. I never dreamed my precautions would fall into the wrong hands. Evil hands.
[out loud]
Batman : Well, Joker, you ready to do this?
Joker : To the Batmobile!
[cackling, he gets in]
Joker : Ooh, what's this one do?
[the sound of hissing gas is heard, followed by his snoring]
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Owlman : Hey, I got the heroes off your back. How about a little gratitude? Say, a phase oscillator, perhaps?
Batman : Not feeling very gracious right now.
Joker : [watching them fight] So, not hurt anyone, hmm.
[taking out various weapons]
Joker : Too toxic. Too stabby. Too fruity. Say, where's my...?
[pulling a bazooka out of his pocket]
Joker : The real one will move. He always does.
[firing it and finding Batman buried in the rubble]
Joker : Ha ha, oopsie.
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Batman : [in the Batmobile] Joker, if we're going to work together, I need your word you won't hurt anyone.
Joker : Hmm. Not really me, but what the heck. I'm in. Put her there.
[offering a handshake; Batman looks at him suspiciously]
Joker : [showing him the joy buzzer] Oopsy, Batsy, old habits. Speaking of old, they don't build 'em like this anymore.
[pointing to a button]
Joker : So, what's this one do?
Batman : Don't touch that.
Joker : [pointing to another] What's this do?
Batman : Don't touch that.
Joker : What's this one do?
Batman : Don't touch that.
Joker : [seeing a large, red button] Oh, shiny. What does this one do?
Batman : You really don't wanna touch that.
[pressing the button, gas blows into Joker's face; getting knocked out, he starts snoring]
Batman : Told you not to touch it.
