- Young M.O.D.O.K.: You were supposed to be Emperor of a perfect world, not some sad dad who answers to others. I refuse to accept you as my future!
- M.O.D.O.K.: And I'd spank you if you weren't myself.
- Jodie Tarleton: [17 years ago] It's official, we're pregnant. Are you excited?
- M.O.D.O.K.: How can I be excited about a birth when I have to plan a funeral... for all of my dreams!
- Jodie Tarleton: [after meeting a past version of Monica Rappaccini] This is the girl who makes you cry at work?
- M.O.D.O.K.: She says mean lies about my body that I wish weren't true.
- M.O.D.O.K.: Jesus, Lou, "happy endings". Does that mean you're giving full massages behind the Arby's?
- Lou Tarleton: Yeah. It's bad.