Parks and Recreation (TV Series)
The Stakeout (2009)
Aziz Ansari: Tom Haverford
Photos
Quotes
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Leslie Knope : You're not from here, right?
Tom Haverford : No, I'm from South Carolina.
Leslie Knope : But you moved to South Carolina from where?
Tom Haverford : My mother's uterus.
Leslie Knope : But you were conceived in Libya, right?
Tom Haverford : Wow. No. I was conceived in America. My parents are Indian.
Leslie Knope : Where did the name Haverford come from?
Tom Haverford : My birth name is Darwish Zubair Ismail Gani. Then I changed it to Tom Haverford because, you know, brown guys with funny-sounding Muslim names don't make it far into politics.
Leslie Knope : What about Barack Obama?
Tom Haverford : Okay, yeah, fine, Barack Obama. If I knew a guy named Barack Obama was gonna be elected president, yeah, maybe I wouldn't have changed it.
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Tom Haverford : [to camera] Whenever Leslie asks me for the Latin names of any of our plants, I just give her the name of rappers.
Leslie Knope : And those over there?
Tom Haverford : Uh, those are some Diddies. There's some Bonethugs and Harmoniums right there.
Leslie Knope : Growing beautifully.
Tom Haverford : Those Ludacrises are coming in great.
Leslie Knope : Look, someone planted something new. What's this?
[Touches a marijuana leaf]
Leslie Knope : What do you think, carrots? If that's true, we have a garden pest on our hands.
[Smells the leaf]
Leslie Knope : Maybe some kind of spice?
Tom Haverford : Yeah. You know, Leslie, the best way to figure out what kind of spice that is, is to roll it up in a joint and smoke it.