The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Gothowitz Deviation (2009)

Kaley Cuoco: Penny

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Penny : [dancing and singing along to the radio]  "I'm goin' out tonight / I'm feelin' alright /Gonna let it all hang out / Wanna make some noise really raise my voice / Yeah, I wanna scream and shout. Ah. No-" Morning, Sheldon. Come dance with me.

  Sheldon Cooper : No.

  Penny : Why not?

  Sheldon Cooper : [turns radio off]  Penny, while I subscribe to the "Many Worlds" theory which posits the existence of an infinite number of Sheldons in an infinite number of universes, I assure you that in none of them am I dancing.

  Penny : Are you fun in any of them?

  Sheldon Cooper : The math would suggest that in a few I'm a clown made of candy. But I don't dance.

• Leonard Hofstadter : [Howard and Raj leave to go to a goth nightclub]  They're gonna get beaten up at that club.

  Penny : They're gonna get beaten up at Walgreens.

• Penny : You know what? I give up. He's impossible.

  Sheldon Cooper : I can't be impossible, I exist. I believe what you meant to say is, "I give up. He's improbable."

  Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon, you need to find a better way of dealing with Penny.

  Sheldon Cooper : What am I supposed to do? Eat French toast on a Monday? Now, that would be impossible.

• Sheldon Cooper : Look, Leonard, Penny made French toast.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Sorry, I haven't given her your schedule yet.

  Sheldon Cooper : It's an iCal download. She can put it right in her phone. And we agreed you'd have conjugal visits in her apartment.

  Leonard Hofstadter : We did, but there were extenuating circumstances.

  Sheldon Cooper : I see. Did her abysmal housekeeping skills finally trump her perkiness?

  Leonard Hofstadter : No, her bed kind of broke.

  Sheldon Cooper : That doesn't seem likely. Her bed's of sturdy construction. Even the addition of a second normal-sized human wouldn't cause a structural failure, much less a homunculus such as yourself.

  Penny : A homunculus?

  Leonard Hofstadter : Perfectly formed miniature human being.

  Penny : Oh, you're my little homunculus.

• Penny : Oh man, did the Kiss army repeal 'don't ask, don't tell'?

• Sheldon Cooper : Would you like a chocolate?

  Penny : Um, yeah, sure. Thanks.

  Leonard Hofstadter : What was that?

  Sheldon Cooper : You said be nice to Penny. I believe offering chocolate to someone falls within the definition of "nice".

  Leonard Hofstadter : It does. But in my experience, you don't.

  Sheldon Cooper : There are more things in heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

  Leonard Hofstadter : Yeah, now, that's you. Obnoxious and insufferable.

• Penny : Kim, the night manager, went on maternity leave, and her husband's name is Sandy. So get this, her replacement is a woman named Sandy whose husband's name is Kim.

  [chortling] 

  Leonard Hofstadter : Wow.

  Penny : I know. What are the odds? Oh.

  Sheldon Cooper : Easily calculable. We begin by identifying the set of couples with unisex names. We eliminate those unqualified for restaurant work: the aged, the imprisoned and the limbless, for example. Next, we look at the...

  Leonard Hofstadter : Sheldon. It's an amazing coincidence. Can we leave it at that?

  Sheldon Cooper : I'm sorry. Oh, Penny, it's as if the Cheesecake Factory is run by witches.

  Penny : Ooh, Sheldon, it's as if you don't think I'll punch you.