- Claire and Phil have mixed feelings regarding the first day of school for the kids. Jay and Gloria argue about an outfit for Manny, and a minor problem with Lily gets blown out of proportion by Mitchell and Cameron.
- It is the first day of school, and all three households are very busy. Certainly busier than Luke, who was supposed to keep a journal of what he did over the summer. He made one entry, saying he found a stick, but it was a cool stick. (it looked like a snake) Alex must haul a cello larger than her on the bus, and Haley is starting to take driving lessons. Unfortunately, her parents are helping her learn. Gloria is excited that Manny is starting the fifth grade, but Jay is less excited about the poncho he wants to wear to show he is proud of his Colombian heritage. Gloria defends it by saying people are impressed by the things she wears and the confidence she exudes in wearing them, because OF COURSE that's the reason they stare at her. Mitchell and Cameron are taking care of Lily, and Mitchell is playing his Felix Unger role to perfection in babyproofing the house, stopping just shy of wrapping Lily in bubble wrap. Cameron is a little more relaxed about it, dressing Lily in his favorite pop stars, such as Diana Ross, Olivia Newton-John, Madonna (the early years), but he forgot Cher. He convinces Mitchell to dance with Lily, and of course Mitchell accidentally bangs Lily's head on the ceiling when throwing her up in the air.
Phil is the ultimate listener when it comes to his marriage. He KNEW when Claire told him they couldn't fit both cars in the garage, she wanted him to get a sportscar. Therefore, when she wanted to settle down with a book and go running later on the first day with the kids in school, clearly she meant he should be up in her face and insist on running with her. She tries to defuse the situation diplomatically by saying she runs pretty fast, which Phil takes as a challenge. It is on for the afternoon. Maybe they can run fast enough to deliver Manny's poncho to him at school. Jay convinced him (convince = make mean jokes) to leave it at home, and Gloria was not happy. She insisted on bringing it to school, but Jay didn't want Manny to go through the same ridicule and torture Mitchell did when he was a kid. Mitchell defends himself by saying he kept the "gay thing" to a minimum as a kid, although wearing Mrs. C's apron from "Happy Days" is not what you'd call subtle. Still it was more subtle than Cameron at the doctor's office with Lily. Cameron constantly asks the Asian doctor if she knew of any good places for Pho soup (did he say that right?), but she insists there aren't many such places in Denver that have it...or people who bow to her. But it's all good. Mitchell is still upset about bumping Lily's head and thinks Cameron's a much better parent. But Cameron insists that Mitchell is good at the things he isn't and vice versa. And both are apparently good at accidentally locking Lily in the car. Fortunately, they have the assistance package with the car, and the doors are open before Cameron can smash the window and Mitchell has a complex of people judging them.
Gloria and Jay make it to school and track down Manny. Gloria insists that Manny be allowed to wear the poncho.
GLORIA: Children need to know you believe in them. It's the most important thing. If you tell them they have wings, they will believe they can fly.
JAY: Oh, really? I had a friend at Woodstock, believed he could fly. Didn't end great. That's why hotel windows don't open anymore.
Manny is appreciative of their support. So much so, he will play his pan flute and do a traditional Colombian dance for his new classmates. Be ready for some whiplash!
GLORIA: The poncho is one thing. But the poncho, plus the flute, plus the dance, my son will die a virgin!
Jay has to cover by looking at the flute and "accidentally" dropping it. And steps on it after Gloria tells him he just stepped on it.
Phil and Claire have their run with very few people interested in it. Not even Claire. But as Phil continues to talk trash and sweat, Claire sees the "World's Greatest Dad" shirt he has on.
CLAIRE: I realized that the first day of school is tough on all my kids, especially the one I married.
Claire tanks it and allows Phil to win. He is in full gloat until Haley runs him over with the driver's ed car. But he's OK. But that's what you do as a parent.
CLAIRE: We do strange things for the people we love. We lie to them, we lie for them. There may be some bumps along the way, but we never stop wanting the best for them. That's what makes it such a tough job. Kind of the best job in the world.
Might want to warm up that whole "lie for them" thing. A cop is pulling Haley over, and Phil has priors. He never paid that parking ticket.
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